You Ain't Seen Crazy
by evo350
Summary: What happens when the killer-girl is no longer crazy? Rayne and a little M/I, K/S. Changed the rating to M... if anyone needs a PG version let me know and I can post one.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. They belong to the genius mind of Mr. Whedon and the entities that were crazy enough to cancel them.**

This is my first fanfic ever so please be gentle in reviews! :) I so want to have all the feedback I can to make this journey play out in words as well as it is in my brain!

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**Nothing in the 'Verse can stop me.** She wasn't surprised, she wasn't even shocked. The small woman _knew_ that she could kill the Reavers when she's started running toward them. The stench of blood lapped at her nose until the blast doors finally peeled back with a welcomed hiss. She noticed Jayne's muscles tense expecting a horde of Reavers to overtake them; instead he noticed an all too familiar silhouette wielding far less familiar weapons. The blood of the Reavers fell to the floor, signs of the apparent massacre that had taken place, his eyes followed the blood and he noticed _piles _of the over aggressive monstrous bastards lying at River's feet. SHE had killed them all? The little… the doc's sis…. _How odd to see the lamb slaughter the lions. _He didn't feel so bad that she'd been able to take him at Maidenhead. 'Least she hadn't killed him!

**No more running. **She was resolute once she knew the Alliance battalion was storming toward her. Seconds later, as they brought down the wall, she resisted her every instinct to decimate every threat to herself and her crew. The Operative had a pardon in his heart. **Say the words.** She silently pleaded, **Stand down. **She wasn't sure she'd heard the words right, or if she was still repeating them in her own head, but the Alliance soldiers dropped arms and retreated much more silently than they had entered.

"Mal," River noticed the crew member who was definitely the worst off, "Kaylee, keep pressure on Simon. Inara, help me get the Cap propped up on one of these crates." They laid Mal on a crate and made a pillow for him out of Zoe's jacket. "He's losing a lot of blood... get Wa.." the realization hit River like a high-speed freighter. Wash, the quirky captain who loved few things as much as he did the open sky- He loved a great laugh, a good prank, he loved his dinos, he loved his… "Zoe!" Her thoughts were swimming too fast in her head. Wash could give the captain blood, except he was dead. Wash was dead and that weighed on her heart to an unquantifiable degree – how was Zoe holding up? Dear Zoe.

"Medics. We need medics," she finally deduced. She sprinted down the hall, away from the Reavers she'd just murdered, away from the Captain, away from Wash and Zoe and all of it. The voices in her own head were screaming loud enough to tune everybody out and formulate a plan. She knew the signal came from deep in Mr. Universe's facility and ran toward the thought signature she was faintly picking up from the Operative. It was scattered; he was a man dealing with the psychological fracture that occurred when everything you've believed in fervently for your most of your career has put you in position of being a bad guy. He had zealously, _fanatically_ hunted the demonized River Tam, now he realized she was just another victim. How many innocents had he killed? How many…

"We don't have time for you wallow in your grief," the small Tam stood before him. "Please! We need medical attention. My captain and my brother are the worst." The Operative's eyes were vacant. He was still reminiscing on the base at Haven, and Whitefall, and all the children that had died – he'd even killed a Shepard… "Listen to me!" She grabbed his jacket in her two fists and shook the man from his stupor. "Our medic is injured. You have a whole team of medics 200 yards away. We need help immediately!" She slid the sword from behind him which allowed him movement, "Call for your medics immediately. You and I are going to walk up to my crew. Don't try anything funny. I just killed 28 Reavers. "

Unfazed by her warning the Operative radioed for Alliance medical care. They reached the rest of the team and the Operative kept walking stepping over bodies of the Reavers as he sauntered back to the Alliance ship in a stupor. River stayed with the Captain until stretchers came whizzing in the corridor. Mal was strapped to one and River informed them of his blood type so they wouldn't have to waste time running tests. Simon was taken next, then Zoe. The rest of them walked to the Alliance ship of their own will. Kaylee ran by Simon's stretcher while Jayne, Inara, and River kept a few paces back.

"River," Inara began "We are all so grateful," her words failed her as a crack in her voice betrayed her strength, "what happened to you in the Academy is unspeakable, definitely unforgivable; we'd all be dead though…." _If they hadn't sliced your brain up. _

"You would have never been here in the first place," River felt guilt wrap itself around her, "I wouldn't have had to run away, my brother wouldn't have needed your ship, you wouldn't have had to come here. And die." She looked back at Serenity as they walked past and saw the spikes through the windshield. "Wash!" she gasped and fell to the ground heaving as waves of remorse washed through her.

The Reaver's ship sat just 20 yards away – she glared at it and instantly sprung up and sprinted toward it. The mercenary and the Companion exchanged a glance and cautiously followed. The girl ran through the cargo doors into the ship spewing expletives the whole time. She ran through the halls and up stairs and down stairs until she found what she was looking for. "Gorram yi dwei da buen chuo roh! Gonna get what's coming to them, ruttin' liu kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi!"A wild fit racked her whole body but it was controlled. Something was going on in the girl's brain. Jayne was a little excited to see what Moony could conjure up now, Inara was terrified of the young woman at this moment. She returned to where they had stopped in the cargo hold, "Get out. These _ching soh_ _are jwei gai wang se _– and I'm making sure this ship never hurts another person. Get out!" She growled.

The containers were growing heavy, it had been a long day and her muscle fibers were showing signs of fatigue. Still she'd started in the bridge, through the hall, past the mess, into the ammo hold, through the engine compartment, and down in the cargo hold. The gelatinous soup was a mix of chemicals that swam in her nose and clouded her eyes – but as she doused the ship in it she knew it would do the trick. She then soaked all but a few inches of a long fibrous cord in the mixture and pulled all but a few inches out of the container. After placing the container in the cargo hold she ran the cord through the hangar of the base they'd landed on not but a while earlier. Jayne stared in disbelief. The gorram moonbrain was gonna explode the ship. He sent Inara to let the Alliance ship know what was happening so they didn't think it was a hostile move. She skirted toward the large cruiser that was sitting well out of the hangar they were now in.

"Girlie," he motioned to River as she approached "Now, this is gonna be great and all but…when that goes 'kaboom' that fire ain't got nowhere to go but here," he motioned all around them, "do you know how combustible that liquid was?"

"Very," she smirked at him. "And we just have to worry about the initial explosion," she confirmed. "Here," she threw a thermal blanket at him "Wrap in that. I am going to light this and run behind those crates there. I suggest you do similar." His fascination grew. Where was _this_ girl all those months on the ship? Weren't no way in hell he'd a' tried to kick 'em off the ship if she'd just been _this_ girl.

Hm. Better do as the girlie says.

Crouched behind the crate he still instinctively wrapped River in the blanket as she came running behind the barricade as well. He could track damn near anything and he heard the hiss as the fuse lit further toward the ship. "Boom," she smiled up at him seconds before the ground shook with the explosion. A fireball tried to erupt up toward the sky, but the ceiling redirected it in a radius through the hangar. Jayne collapsed around the girl and pulled the blanket in tighter as the flames licked the air just above them. _Hope this crate ain't full of nothin' flammable._ "THEY'RE FULL OF SAND!" River yelled an answer to his thought over the retreating fire.

He peeled back the thermal blanket and reluctantly let the assassin slip from his arms, "You ok?"

"I am. You're wounded though. Let's get to the cruiser, they have a doctor waiting for you."

"I don't like doctors," he insisted, "It can wait 'til your brother gets healed up."

"My brother is still a doctor. Either way you have to see one so git," she asserted herself and gave him a quick kick on his behind. Jayne glared back toward her and the ferociously burning Reaver ship, but just chuckled as he started toward the Alliance cruiser.


	2. Chapter 2

**Discalimer: I still do not own these charactars! Don't sue me, I've just found inspiring muses! :)**

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Chapter 2

"Gorramit, Simon!" River barked as she stormed through the cargo hold, "You of all people know not to pick at a wound dressing. Kaylee, make him stop. Jayne, Mal needs you outside. Inara, you look so beautiful. Do you need any help with your shuttle?"

"River," Inara tilted her head "It's not my shuttle anymore…"

"Yes it is. You're going to fly with us again."

River turned and headed up to the bridge. It had been a full week since they crashed into Mr. Universe's facility, 5 days since they buried their friends in the highlands to the east. The last few days had brought great progress; the Alliance cruiser fulfilled all its promises. The crew was on the mend, they'd even towed Serenity out of the hangar so repairs could be completed more easily. All the big jobs had been completed; all the big pieces that were ripped off had been bolted and welded back on and the engine had no missing parts. Now it was just the little work that had to been done. River had been working on the wiring with Kaylee, Simon was rearranging and organizing all the compartments and rooms that had been disheveled, Zoe was pulling together alright as well and was in charge of all the hydraulic systems. Mal and Jayne resorted to helping with all the heavy lifting and grunt work. Even being the most busted member of the crew Mal was the most beneficial to Jayne when it came to the tough work. Inara had even worked until the late hours of the night scrubbing the abominable red paint from Serenity's skin. It had been a busy few days, but it was just what the crew needed after everything that had happened.

The Companion watched the miracle girl skirt off to the bridge and then silently retreated to what used to be her own shuttle. The warm, rich, red fabric had been stripped out and a cold metal shell of a transport shuttle remained. Inara slowly ran her hand over the metal and recounted the days, weeks, months spent here; the clients, the fights with Mal, the conversations with the rest of the crew. _Oh dear Kaylee. _Inara remembered fondly when the mechanic and the doctor flirted themselves in circles and Kaylee would bring all her dreams to Inara. She smiled for the young woman; in the last week it was rare to find those two separated. Amazing, how much she cared for the soft mechanic, how much circumstance and tragedy can make those who were once strangers feel like family.

"Inara," Mal had actually knocked and was waiting a reply on the other side of the door.

"Once I'm NOT renting it from you and you have all rights to access, NOW you knock," she actually laughed at the irony of the moment.

"Yeah," the Captain strutted in "Heard tell you're not too fond of people just bargin' in on ya." Mal winked quickly at the Companion.

"Yeah? And heard tell that you're not one to worry what people are too fond of."

"Reckon so," Mal had seemed defeated. His anger and wrath of the last few months had dissipated, this was a new melancholy that Inara couldn't quite place yet. "We need to talk. Now, I don't want an answer at this moment, but I definitely wanna speak my bit, do you have a minute?"

So _this _ was the moment, the conversation-never-to-be would actually be spoken. She can't say she didn't see it coming, didn't make her any more comfortable with it though. "You have my undivided attention, I would offer you tea but…" she smiled sheepishly at him.

"Yeah, leave your ship to petty thieves it goes all to hell," he smiled back "'Nara, I'm not a man of words so you have to forgive that, I've come too close to dying too many gorram times in the last couple weeks to not speak my peace. I wasn't kiddin' when I say you spin me 'bout. I confuse my words and I can't think straight when you're near. I ain't got much for ya, no shiny diamonds, no fancy balls to take you to, no promises of what exactly tomorrow holds; but I got a heart. I think that's yours whether you take it or not, so I got that and I have a ship. A ship that can house you and a heart that will protect you as long as my lungs still draw air." As he spoke, the air left Inara. She'd had poets for clients, and rich, well schooled men and women who had spoken verses and lines of romance and whimsy; and not one of them left her knees as weak as these simple words spoken by this simple Captain. "Now," Mal continued "I don't want an answer right now…"

His words were cut off when her lips pressed firmly against his. The Companion kept all senses of propriety about her, and the kiss was clinically perfect, but her lingering hands told Mal another story. Even when she'd so abruptly pulled her kiss from him, her hands still rested on his waist, her fingers languidly tracing over the dressings over his wounds. Intoxicated, he nodded and exited the shuttle. Outside the door he paused and leaned against wall. _What in the hell did that just mean?_

The Operative sat in the Alliance cruiser and occasionally looked out the window at the progress coming along with Serenity. They'd rigged the crane and helped with a lot of the rebuilding of the ship. Serenity was a lot like her crew, broken to bits but undoubtedly stronger than anything the 'Verse could throw at it.

"Sir you have a WAVE from Ariel," a lackey popped his head into the conference room the Operative had occupied.

"Please patch it through." Within seconds the monitor on the wall brightened to life and Senator Biddick stood in front of him.

"Senator Biddick," the Operative bowed.

The man on the screen looked disheveled and worn. The grey crescents under his eyes gave claim to a few sleepless nights and a few taxing days, the unkempt hair gave away that more pressing things were at hand, and the half-hearted timbre his voice carried told the rest of the story, "I hear you gave a no kill order on River Tam."

"Correct. The signal had already been sent. No reason for more bloodshed."

"No reason? That girl caused countless Alliance deaths. That alone is eno…"

"That girl," the Operative raised his voice and charged toward the WAVE screen "was _another_ one of your experiments."

"It was not your call to make."

"I stand behind my every decision. I would tell them to stand down again if given the chance. Do you know how many innocent people I killed to get to River Tam, to find that she ISN'T the biggest threat society has? That YOU are? That the very government that swears to protect its citizens sometimes knowingly puts them at great risk. Sickening."

"Do you know _why_ that Sheppard on Haven was able to take down the Alliance ship that attacked it? When none of the other bases could?" the Senator charged "Because, he was an Operative once too. He was on hiatus, very much like you will be soon. By a simple oversight he still held his Alliance ident card even. Are you willing to suffer his fate? To wander the Rim planets trying to deny the government that made you everything you are?"

"Ah, that's right. Operative Book. I've studied his work. He was able to get information without harming one single person who wasn't on the target list. What turned him from you?"

"A sect of the Companion guild was housing some Browncoats. We, of course, wanted it terminated. He couldn't do it. Irony, the Companion that travels with Serenity was part of that guild. I'm beginning to believe she keeps questionable company."

"Why did you WAVE me?' The Operative grew tired of the conversation. "To tell me about an old dead Sheppard and warn me about my fate? Do you not think I already know all these things?"

"I sent this WAVE so you know that no matter what you see on the Coretex, about the Alliance weakening, and thanks to you it most definitely IS weakening, we will not stop until you are a corpse. "

"Well," The Operative smiled "I hope I see it through until your complete downfall."

"You won't. Good day." The Senator killed the WAVE signal and turned to the Commander At Large of the Alliance Patrols, "Send the signal to activate Subject River Tam. Set objective: our dear Operative."


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own it. :) **

_Bear with me, I hope you like what I have so far, but I'm working out a fun bit o' story that I've had in my head a short bit. However, as I'm sure you can all sympathize, it's sometimes harder than planned to get that scripted out! :) Thank you all for reading! BROWNCOATS FOREVER!_

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"Well," Mal addressed the whole crew around the table in the mess "it looks like we'll be able to take off tomorrow. River you will be in the bridge with me learning to pilot this ship, Kaylee, stick close to the engine bay until we break atmo. Until then enjoy your night cause the inspector will be here tomorrow bright and early. The alliance cruiser would like to depart as well."

As happens with all families in times of unity through strife, the crew of Serenity came together later that night. Kaylee got a small fire going outside the ramp and Inara flavored some protein to taste like delicious hamburgers. Mal and Simon pulled crates outside so they could all sit around the fire. Not one of them could remember a time or a place where they felt more wanted and more needed. Zoe wrapped her duster around her. There was still nothing that could quite take the away the chill of suddenly being a widow. The crew always helped though, helped her remember that _she_ was still alive.

"Look!" Kaylee handed River a small glass of engine wine "Jayne's brought his guitar out! I love it when he plays. Reminds me of sittin' at home listenin' to my brothers strum away."

The guitar kicked up a rugged tune and the crew jumped around the fire in appreciation. Simon took the chance to star at Kaylee. Her smile lit up the night with the appreciation she had for every moment in time. The life in her step and the love in her eyes – not just for him, for Serenity, for the crew, for the sky. Few had lived life as she had, in full awe and wonderment at every experience. How blessed he was that such a soul could love his soul back. She suddenly grabbed his waist with one arm and his hand with another and whisked him around in a brisk jig to the tempo of Jayne's guitar. He didn't have his sisters aptitude for dance, but the fancy-pants Core bred boy could definitely hold his own. She threw back her head and laughed as he paused to spin her into a dramatic dip like in the fancy movies.

"How bold!" She leaned up and kissed his cheek "Why, Simon, what would your friends think?"

"They'd think it's about damn time!" He laughed and continued spinning in their jig; her soft hair flowing with their every move. Finally the chords resolved and the song drew to an end. "This is a night we'll remember forever," Simon prophesized as he landed another kiss on her cheek.

Jayne rounded the notes into a soft soft ballad. The story behind this new song was one of peace. The songwriter had been a fierce warrior – he'd lost friends, gained allies, travelled months, even years on end. Finally the warrior returned home to his family, to those who'd loved him so many years before and now, despite the blood on his hands, were still overjoyed at his return. The notes resonated from the strings and warmed the places even the fire escaped. It was a song River knew from her dance studio. _Homeward, _she whispered the name. Her body fell into rhythm with the guitar. 4 beats per measure, in the key of G, adante tempo. These were the technical things she _knew_ about the song but none of that inspired the movement in her body. As the song lifted, her legs tightened and pulled her body farther from the ground, only to have the song swoop to a low as she crouched with pointed toes and graceful bends and twists of the arms. The song lived in every fiber of her muscles, in every charge swimming along her neurons.

Jayne glanced from his hands as he knew the song by heart. Mal and Inara were clasping hands staring intently to their left, Kaylee and Simon were all but in each other's lap and were staring intently as well. Jayne followed their gaze past an equally enraptured Zoe to the small assassin. Her body writhed under the force of the instrument, the fluid motions connected in pure and powerful furor. His fingers played the music while her body sang the song.

She felt his gaze. The others appreciated her grace, Simon was of course pleased at how technically perfect each stance and move was executed, but she felt _Jayne's_ gaze in her very core. She kept her eyes closed tight so the music had been the only stimulant she had, but his stare now inspired her movements. He saw the story she was telling. The warrior wasn't coming home after years at battle, a Captain was finding refuge in his own ship, from his own demons, and finding strength in the family he'd _built._ The heat of Jayne's stare left trails up her legs, over her torso, across her shoulders, it swept up her jawline, to the soft lids blocking out everything except the notes his fingers traced over the guitar. She danced for his eyes alone now.

He wanted to keep playing forever, to see the fury of the music coarse through her, to watch her desire for the next note enchant her mind and force her lithe form to sway at his every whim. She longed for the next note. _Jayne, keep your fingers moving. I can't lose this right now. Play me a verse for his love. Play me a verse for the pilot lost. Just play._ Her foot slid gracefully to the side and she bent into a challenging lunging stance she threw her body back opening herself up to the night sky, to the 'Verse. _Take what you must, just leave me the sky._

The mercenary watched as her movements pleaded for him to take notice; the subtle flicks of the wrist, the way that last twist caused the strain in her side, the care with which she pointed each toe. Thoughts crept into his head that he reserved for women not as graceful and not as talented as this beautiful muse. What an impassioned woman, what a heady demand for desire. He wished he could placate this magnificent being's thirst and quench a longing that brewed behind crazy eyes for so long. The last few months had told the story of a scared little girl frightened of the world, frightened that even breathing wrong could bring her whole world down around her. The last few moments , however, on this turbulent little moon, under the same skies that watched over their buried friends, River had turned into a graceful woman; her needs and yearnings on display before his very eyes. Simon just saw the dance moves his mei mei perfected years ago. However, Jayne, also a creature of passion, saw the raw, savage hunger that drove her arms to wrap around her chest just so, and twist her legs pulling the strained muscles in her leg even more taut. He followed the firm line of her thigh…

_I'm sorry girl, but for my sake I gotta end the song. _She sighed in acceptance and returned to standing as he resolved the last chord. The enchanted crew enthusiastically applauded the doctor's sister and slowly returned to their previous enthrallments. Simon returned to Kaylee, Mal revisited the earlier joke he was telling Inara, and Zoe pretended to be hypnotized with the fire.

"Jayne," River sat next to him on the crate as he began plucking at another soft song, "Thank you for that song." Her eyes caught his and she wouldn't let him look away. Why was her simple stare so commanding. She softly brought a hand to his face and rubbed a thumb over his cheek. "I AM quenched."

_Has she heard every thought?_

"It makes the girls so happy when you're here," Mal rubbed a thumb over Inara's hand. _Gorram engine wine, makin' a man not know his own sense from a hole in a wall. _

"What about the Cap'n?" Even Inara's words slurred under the effects of the homemade hooch.

"No! That doesn't make the girls happy at all," he joked with her. He drew her hand up and kissed the air right above it, "I might be a mite tipsy," he laughed at his lack of depth perception. Inara more than obliged his mishap with a hearty laugh. _God, why is this happening to me? I can't fall in love, I was __**trained**__ not to fall in love._ But he felt _so_ good. His body heat washed over her senses, she even loved the way his scent mixed with the fresh air, and the way his eyes held a softness for her that it reserved for no other person in the whole 'Verse. She wanted to lean her head on the strong shoulder, laugh and commune with his great mind, ease and heal his every wound. _Gorramit, Malcolm Reynolds, this was a lot easier when you were a big chun zhu!_

He loved the way her shoulders shook when she genuinely laughed. And he'd never seen anything like the way her eyes sparkled brighter than any stars in the night sky, in fact her eyes had to be suns. With their own solar systems because it'd be a shame if even one soul in the 'Verse didn't get to see the radiant light that she was. He risked a glance directly into the gravitational force of her stare and caught her gazing intently at him. As his view locked with hers, she realized she was gawking despite herself. She averted her eyes and stared directly at the fire.

"I won't tell anyone that you were staring if you can return the favor," he laughed and winked as she looked at him incredulously.

"What makes you think I was staring?"

"What's not to stare at?" Malcolm Reynolds was back, in full force.

"Oh see, there's the bi mu se ting wan nao we all know," she laughed at him. They never once pulled their hands from one another. They bickered for well over an hour as Jayne's music faded into the background and the fire blurred into an insignificant backdrop.

"Jayne," River came toward the gun hand as he began another ballad – he'd grown a new fondness of the slow songs. He imagined how her body would respond to each one. Even if Moony was still reading his every thought, he couldn't pull his mind away. "Will you teach me how to play?"

"Guitar? " He fortified his rough demeanor to compensate for the vile thoughts running through his brain "Hell, you're a ruttin' genius, you don't know how to play?"

"No, I've watched you and I have a basic idea. But to play like _you._" He knew exactly what she was talking about. He loved his guitar almost as much as he loved Vera. His hands caressed her as he'd never even felt a woman. His every decision elicited an exact response from her; and in a 'Verse where a man ain't listened to, that's a good feelin'.

"That's like askin' you to teach me to dance like you," he protested.

"You have no desire to dance like me," she stated with a puzzled look across her face.

"And why do you have a desire to learn to play?"

"You make it sound so beautiful."

"So why don't you let me play, and you just dance," he begged her body to move again and she saw right through the dismissive façade.

"Jayne," she proceeded as if he were a 10 year old. She honestly didn't know _what _to say. She had loved his eyes travelling the lengths of her body, she _wanted_ him to look at her like he did. She wanted his hands to soothe the places his eyes singed. She wasn't entirely sure it had anything to do with the fact that it was _him. _If fact, she was rather pissed he'd tried to give her back to the damn feds, not once but _twice!_ But it was damn intoxicating having her body ravaged by his stare.

"Don't be givin' me any talk I don't want," he warned against her condescending tone.

"What if you do want it?" she switched gears.

_Did she just bite her bottom lip and wink?_ He'd seen plenty of girls do that. They all knew the cash he had in his pocket though. He stared at her bewildered forgetting the song that his fingers had been discovering. Surely the wine was having more of an effect than he thought. Surely…

"Fine," she sighed "If you won't teach me to play I'll go find other ways to… amuse myself." She felt a verile heat radiating from him. It was power knowing that you held Jayne Cobb by his… well.. didn't _he _wish? A devilish plan unfolded in her mind. For all the torture he'd put her and Simon through, this game had just begun. "I'll be in my bunk," she whispered hotly in his ear and slid off the crate.


	4. Chapter 4

**Discalimer: **None of these charactars are mine. The belong to the one, the only Joss Whedon. And the networks and all that jazz. :)

**A/N: **Thank all of you who have read, liked, followed, favorited, reviewed. It is so humbling and rewarding that you guys enjoy this story. (I've been on the reading end for quite a while and I'm glad I can contribute.) Please review if you'd like as I am still in the dark as to exactly where this thing is going! All feedback is AMAZING!

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Jayne climbed up slowly from his bunk and immediately knew the engine wine was the cause of aches all over his body. He knew from experience that Kaylee's brew could dry a man out faster than the hottest desert moon. He begrudgingly headed toward the cargo bay. He'd promised Kaylee the night before that he'd help her clean up any mess they left. He immediately caught sight of the Core-pig that was inspectin' the ship. He rolled his eyes and the bu lang bu you chun zhu checked off a list from a clipboard.

He decided to just continue down to the ramp instead of tellin' that yuppie Core fellow just where he could put that shiny metal clipboard. Inspecting the few last embers of the previous night's fire he noted several cups and a pitcher strewn about. Suddenly he realized he was standing right where River had danced the night before. He uncomfortably shifted around as if the air was trying to grab him. He busied himself picking up the washable debris and heading toward the kitchen. His legs seemed to made of lead, he'd known this kind of hangover before. Lotsa water and lotsa the doc's meds were going to get him through this day. He barged into the kitchen only to be stopped dead in his tracks.

"Gorramit girl!" he growled, "Put some ruttin' clothes on." River was stretched on tiptoe, reaching for a glass in the upper cabinets. He fast noticed she was only clad in and oversized t-shirt. He didn't know if she had anything on under the inadequate fabric. Didn't reckon he'd be asking either.

"Have clothes on," she strained and the bottom hem rode dangerously high up her thigh. _Didn't she know what girls like her did to men like him?_ She finally claimed the glass and turned toward him.

He caught a glimpse of her attire. The masculine green were hemmed by a darker color and what a fun logo on the chest, hell, I'd almost own a shirt like th... "Are you... is that m.. Give me my gorram shirt back, Moonbrain!"

"Take it from me," she bit her bottom lip and dropped her voice.

"What's gotten into you, huh?" Jayne shook her by the shoulder.

"Jayne's not down for a little fun?" she pouted. _Simon will conveniently interrupt in 5.7 seconds, 5 - 4 - 3- _"What if I am?" she whispered into his chest just before Simon walked into the room.

"Hi Simon, I'm making breakfast. Oatmeal. I'm using the last of the cinnamon sugar. Sit."

Jayne watched the feng le girl serve her brother oatmeal while she wore _his_ shirt. Usually situations like this got him in a heap of trouble. _Wonder why the doc hadn't..._

"Mei mei," Simon finally realized "Is that Jayne's shirt?"

"Yes," Jayne scoffed "Make sure I get that back." The way Jayne sneered at Simon boiled the blood in River's veins. She decided to turn up the heat on him.

"You, you said I could have it," her eyes grew wide and pitiful.

"You said she... River, why are you wearing Jayne's shirt?"

"I ain't never told her no such thing!"  
"Well here you can have it," she hesitated the began to slide the shirt off her body.

"NO!" both men yelled in unison.

"Getchyur gorram sister under control!" Jayne shouted.

"Get YOUR gorram shirt offa her!"

_Oh buddy, if only I could._

"It's of optimal comfort!" she shouted and fled down to her room. Mumbling about gorram dumbass men and their blind eyes.

Jayne and Simon sat stunned for a minute "I'ma go get my ruttin' shirt. You figure this out, doc. I ain't havin' no crazy loon flyin' the ship."

"Didn't know that was your choice," Mal strode in.

"Watch her!" Jayne slowly headed for to the passenger bay. "Oh Moony," he called as he neared her room. "Ya gotchya some clothes on now?"

"Here's your gorram shirt you tian di wu yong ape!" she stormed out of her room. A rage had brewed since he'd yelled at her brother. Simon risked and lost everything he had in the whole 'Verse to some save her. He was such an extraordinary man worthy of the greatest recognitions and honors a society can throw at a man, yet here he was, skating through the hell-lands of the Rim with her just to keep her safe, happy, and free. She spewed hateful obscenities in her mind at Jayne as she slinked toward him stopping just a couple feet short.

He sensed the hateful rage boiling underneath. Her shoulders heaved with every breath pulling her newly donned dress taut over her chest. He immediately reminisced of the night before. She checked her anger and slid toward him. "Ya know," she challenged "I always get what I want." She skimmed her eyes up his body and down in case he was curious what she was talking about, and slid past him back up to the mess.

* * *

"The signal is ready," Gregory Attlebaum entered the conference room where the Senator & Commander At Large waited for him.

"I understand the girl now pilots Serenity. Send a WAVE, set this code into the intro screen. She can't stop watching what she never sees coming."

Gregory smiled at the two men, flashing his full set of teeth, "I apologize for having to run, but I must get back to my own planet. My girl's first school promenade is in a week. If I'm lucky I'll make it in time. May I take my leave?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you for your expertise."

_Like wise. _"Not a problem," he hid a sneer as he turned on his heel and exited the room. He had 7 hours until the rendezvous with his partner on the other side of the planet. It was dangerous for two Browncoats to be seen together on Osiris so they very carefully hid their identities. Even the Headquarters at the Academy couldn't see through the false identity when they'd hired him.

His transport left Capital City quickly and used its orbit flight plan to land him in the city of Mandron later that afternoon. He stepped off the ship, leisurely walked to a seafood diner and sat in the last booth on the left. He informed the waitress he was expecting an old friend and wondered if he could have an extra menu. Futile, they'd researched and knew exactly what the were going to order two months ago. This was a mission, every minute planned to the smallest detail.

"Old friend," a voice erupted from the doorway.

"Ralph!" Gregory stood and addressed the other Browncoat, "It's been too long."

"7 years I believe," of course the man's name wasn't Ralph. It was Timothy. They'd seen each other not 3 weeks prior, when Gregory sat off to write code for the Alliance. They sat, ordered, and talked in code about the mission at hand.

The code had been ordered by the Alliance to turn River Tam on the Operative that had let her go, however, the Browncoat had written the code so the girl would rendezvous with the IFO, Independent Federation Organization, ship off a little moon on the Rim. She would be taken in for the reward, and he'd even programmed an escape plan for her. It was 83% probable to succeed. Either way, the IFO would gain some much needed funding.

The two finished dining and exited the diner and got the hell off that planet as fast as they could.

* * *

River controlled herself and was able to get Serenity up in the air. She took the controls from a Captain who was in oddly great spirits. She smirked at the way he and Inara were finally coming to terms with their relationship. _And I'm the one they treat like a child! Those two have been completely impervious! _She traced the controls that Wash had developed and molded into the perfect set up on the bridge. The Captain and her had decided not to change a single iota of the sequence and set-up that Wash had set. They would do anything they could to keep his memory on Serenity.

Life was back to normal. Mostly.

River made sure to sit next to Jayne at dinner, not too hard as it had been the norm for months. Usually she's made it a game to steal his dinner roll, now her intentions were much more… evolved. She sat and bowed her head. If the Ape-man had a redeeming quality it was that he always said grace before a meal. She still hated him.

She toyed with him innocently enough to begin with, she took his roll and giggled as she had every night . He feigned anger and grabbed another roll. Then she kicked her foot over his and slowly slid her foot up the side of his calf. Amazing how flexible a dancer could be. He shifted in his seat and removed his feet from her reach. She grabbed the side of her dress on the side that faced him. _Shoulda just let me keep playin' with your leg. _She'd taken off the shorts she normally wore specifically in anticipation of this moment. She gathered more material in her hands making the hem of her skirt slide up her thigh. His eyes caught the soft skin and he fidgeted, trying to pull his attention away. She shut her eyes to stifle a laugh at his desperate thoughts. He wanted SO badly to reach down and grab the meaty flesh, she _felt_ his anxiety.

She grew bolder and slid her hand from her thigh to his. She kept her upper body still so the rest of the crew, too caught in their own conversations to pay attention, wouldn't notice her antics. She walked her fingers up his thigh and grabbed the muscular leg in a tiny but strong hand. She tightened her grasp and dug her nails in, his thoughts were incoherent now. She smiled at her own victory. She released her grip and sensually slid her small hand higher on his thigh. She felt his pants grow tighter and pulled her hand away from him.

"Simon," River butted in to his conversation and turned her back to Jayne, "At the next port, Jayne will come… in contact with some 'questionable' trim. Do you still have that Jextaprin from the Ariel heist?"

"I do."

"He'll need it," she stated matter-of-factly and the entire crew erupted in laughter.

"I don't consort with 'questionable' trim," Jayne defended.

_This is too easy, _River thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

A/N: This one is a little shorter. I had pre-written some of this and decided to go a totally different way. (I'm an aquarius... I have to look at things 7 dozen ways before settling on something! :) ) Hope you enjoy! (I have no beta. All mistakes are mine - it was a long weekend so please be gentle :P)

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River had kitchen duty that night. She methodically soaped, scrubbed, and rinsed each dish. After a thorough inspection to make sure they were clean she dried them and put them away.

"Look here, girly," Jayne's rough voice made her jump. The man was an amazingly stealthy creature for his size. "You ain't got no rights showin' a man what you been showin' me; and you ain't got no rights touchin' men like ya did me neither, dong ma? Knock it off, Moony."

"That's not what your thoughts were saying," she bit her bottom lip.

"Stay outta my gorram head!"

She stared at him, he was a contemptible man. A money hungry, selfish, pitiful man who would die lonely and bitter. _Good, serves him right. _Her anger boiled beneath her skin and in her veins. It made her hands tremble despite themselves. God, she just wanted to punch him. Just get one good punch in, right there on the jaw.

"Listen to ME you ruttin' ape!" she yelled stepping toward him "Don't you _ever_ tell me what to do," _Oh go se! _She was completely coming unraveled. Simon had been right, when they stripped her amygdala she lost most of her ability to push things to the back of her mind. She was angry and now Jayne was going to get it. "Men have _always _tried to tell me what to do. Usually evil men in lab coats and blue gloves. Hell," she started pacing like a rabid tigress "they went so far as to SLICE my brain open. You hate me so when I say this picture Lilly or Ruth or any of your sisters, okay?. Right here," she pointed at her skull drawing a fairly large triangle "you know they had to saw this all open? Shaved my whole damn head! And they didn't just saw it once, it was a 'series' of surgeries, to 'enhance' my natural abilities. My head skin just flappin' open the whole time. But you know what? It gorram worked. I'm a ruttin' killing machine!" Jayne watched the girl pace back and forth. Whatever she was sayin' obviously needed to be said 'cause her stare was piercin' him right to the core. It was damn hard to focus while she clutched that gorram butcher knife she'd been dryin'. _Who the hell agreed to let her do the dishes?_

The knife whizzed just past his head and stuck in the wall behind him. _Ruttin' loony girl! _"Look here," he yelled, "If you're gonna be…"

"If I wanted that knife in your skull if _would_ be and you know it!" She then calmly continued "so the sawing and the cutting of the brain eventually stopped but not before they started keeping her awake during the procedures and providing visual images and stimulating parts of her brain to provide the desired effect." Jayne had on his dummy face that proved he didn't understand a word she was saying, "They showed me pictures," she clarified in 'Jayne-speak' "and pushed on parts of my brain that would make me feel a certain way about it. To test this, they showed me a picture of a nurse and pressed waaaaay down in there," she pointed to a specific part of her skull again "do you know what that does?" Jayne just shook his head. "It makes you angry. Homicidal even." She paused for a long time and looked down at the floor. Immediately broken, no longer a pacing tigress. Jayne didn't know _what_ he was looking at. "I killed her," River all but whispered. "She was just giving me a smoother because she knew I'd had a bad episode. I jumped on her, I strangled her with my IV tube. She grabbed at my arms and begged for her life, her grip ripped my IVs out but that didn't stop me. I just bled all over her face while she took her last breath." He saw a tear hit the floor under where she'd hidden her face behind her hair.

"Now girlie, it ain't fair what they did to ya," he'd be the first to admit that "but you can't carry that guilt. They killed her, not you."

She shot him a glare through tear soaked eyes "Your gorram ass was gonna send me right back to them!" she shouted. "Just for money, so you could betray Mal, buy a ship of your own, and get some more mediocre trim! My _life_ was worth a ship and a few warm, wet places to put your.."

The jangle of the WAVE system stopped her short and she headed up to the bridge. "This is River, pilot of the Firefly Class…"

_There it was. A series of 0s and 1s all in order. All telling her what he next move would be. The code. It was a mission, with objective, blueprints, plans, times, contacts. It took over her brain. There was no way of denying what it demanded because it left no room for other thoughts when it infiltrated her brain. __**Code Benedict.**_

* * *

He wondered if she'd ever forgive him. She had been right, his payoff wasn't going to be worth nearly as much as _she_ was going to _lose_. They took her very life from her. She was a loony brain, but when she _was_ lucid (usually when the doc could refrain from givin' her all those damn meds) she was actually a pretty interesting girl. He decided he would actually ask her for forgiveness, not a feat Jayne accomplished very often at all, but this time he damn sure well deserved to be put in his place. Those were going to be very bitter words to swallow.

_That gorram girl has been comin' on to me to torture me, _he figured it out and instantly gained a odd respect for her cunningness.

She eased through the hall and back into the mess, the code writing her every step. Her eyes saw the large mercenary. **Threat: Unknown. Proactively subdue.** She ripped a strip of her dress and marched over to Jayne. Cooperation would not be an option so she twisted his tree trunk arms behind them and tied them together in one swift unexpected motion. The code knew his personality and, as instructed by it, she pleaded for him to be quiet with her eyes. She got a piece of paper and began scribbling on it.

_01010100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100010 0100010 10010001_

She wrote on endlessly as fast as her fingers could move. She then stormed to the ammo hold and grabbed an array of guns, knives, grenades, and ammo.

Jayne heard shuttle two undock and leave Serenity.

"MAL!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them. As much as I wish I were that genius, Joss is boss. **

**Also, I need a beta. Not sure how that all works on here so if anyone would like to double check me please feel free to PM me! :) Until then, all mistakes are mine mine mine! :) Oh, and I love reviews! Even if it's pointing out a neg... sometimes I'm blind :)**

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Chapter 6

She set course for the Independent Federation ship. It would take just over 2 hours. She spent the time going over strategy and re-reading the code swimming through her mind. In the Maidenhead the signal had only said "Terminate all." Easy. _This_ code almost drowned her brain leaving no room for proper execution – it overwhelmed even her genius mind.

She twitched as she skimmed over a portion of the code that sent a glitch behind her eyes.

_A glitch?_ She thought before she was lost in code again. She forced herself back to that miniscule crack in the code. _I can think on my own here!_ The glitch was evasive though, she slipped right out of it again, back in the sea of 0s and 1s. She searched the code again. That glitch made it weak enough, she knew she could gain control over the code. She sat in a trance images flickering behind her eyelids, code upon code, files upon files. It all made tactical sense. Operations: all files in order. Agents: in order. Blueprints and schedules also checked out to be 100% in tact. _What's this? _She skimmed over a file names 'Origins.'

It felt like one of those files that, had it been tangible, would be dusty from sitting on a desk for months, even years – something somebody hoped no one would ever find. _Why is it here?_ She opened the original code and found out her true objective had been tampered with. She was originally supposed to kill the Operative? That was to be his punishment for letting her go, to die by her hand. This was nothing like the task she was actually set on. She slipped back into the crack in the code.

_If only Mal were here._ She had that brief thought before the code exhaustingly sucked her back in. She stored the current file and looked under "Command." The IFO had financed, organized, and arranged this whole mission. She skimmed the details she was never supposed to see until they were actively propelling her body and her actions according to plan. They were going to use her against the Alliance. Damn Browncoats weren't any better than the Core!

"Mal!" she found the glitch again and was actually able to call out a name. Sonofabitch, Mal was a Browncoat too! Who could she actually trust anymo…

The code took her over again. She was to meet the Captain of the IFO ship, he would bring her to Capital City and turn her in for the reward and as soon as the check was cashed into IFO accounts she would break out taking many key members of the Blue Hands and the Academy with her. 83% probability that she'd escape? Awful low didn't they think?

_Ask Jayne, it won't work. You won't get your money! _She was able to get into the glitch and rearrange the code. She found the best way to reroute 0s and 1s so it would stay open longer. _Stop the shuttle!_ She screamed at herself. She continued hacking the code in her brain and made a large enough rift that bought her time. She rushed to the control panel and shut the shuttle down. She had to pause to rearrange more of the code and finally was able to hit the button to send a WAVE. _God, someone please be there!_

XXXXXXXX

"So this is what I've got so far," Simon stood in the middle of the group on the bridge. He held up the piece of paper that River had scribbled on – he'd ran the binary code through a translator and brought up her message.

_BEEN ACTIVATED. STAY PUT. I'LL BE BACK._

"She don't talk like that," Jayne pointed out.

"And she knows in our line of work we can't stay still. That code thing in her head made her write that," Mal was proud he'd figured it out. He'd seen the girl under the control of this stuff before. He didn't trust it one little bit. "I'm setting course for her shuttle."

"Mal," Jayne pointed "There's a WAVE coming in."

Mal immediately slammed on the "accept" button and was about to greet the sender.

"Firefly class…" he was interrupted.

"Say the…" a small voice struggled to be heard. It was River. That was the last person any of them had expected to see. She looked terrible. Lines of worry or concentration marked her forehead. Her purple dress had been twisted and a strap hung off her shoulder. Jayne couldn't help but stare and the milky soft skin. _Special hell! _He chided himself. Her hair, brushed and soft when she'd left was now damp and stringy with sweat. She twitched and fell silent for a minute. "Say the safe word!" she finally gasped.

"Eta kuram na smekh!" her brother shouted. The pain melted from her face and she threw her body back against the pilot's chair. She was asleep and would be for exactly 3.5 hours and then she would return to her _previous_ state. They had all hesitated to call it 'normal.'

Jayne heard it first. It was unmistakably the bass explosion of a large off-boat bomb in the background of the WAVE. He knew exactly what had happened and he tried to get the words out for her to brace herself even if they would have fallen on deaf ears. Too late. The WAVE shook and the last thing they saw before the static was the shuttle get tossed sideways and River fly off screen.

"River!" Mal, Jayne, and Simon all yelled at once.

"Kaylee," Mal shouted "Get to the engine room, I'm bringing her around and we're doing a full burn toward River." Jayne ran to the airlock and began donning his space suit. Her shuttle had taken just over an hour to get where it was, but Serenity could make it in less than 10 minutes at a full burn. The offboard explosive that sent the shockwave through her shuttle had to come from something. _Who was trying to harm her?_ Surely it had thrown her shuttle way off course. He feared what they would find when they got there. A lot could happen in 10 minutes. _Please let her be okay. _

Nobody needed to know, but she'd worked her way under his rough shell. All the hate he'd had 'cause she was a Core-bred brat had been banished. She wasn't a spoiled pi gu like the rest of the Core-bred, especially her brother. She had been through so much yet she still risked her life for the likes of them. She was alright.

"There are two shuttles coming up on hers," Mal radioed to all listening ears "We are much bigger than they are, I'm going to nudge them off course that will buy us time to get you to her ship, Jayne. Gotta be quick though."

"Gotchya Cap," Jayne was ready. If there was a job that we was made for it was rescuing a damsel in distress. Hell, he'd even wanted to rescue Saffron from the cold and bitter Captain. Lookin' back, he came out better for not. Simon felt the drop as Mal descended rapidly to slam into one of the IFO shuttles and then careen left into the other. He was slammed around the infirmary as he gathered a kit of medical supplies and headed up to the shuttle docking bay. Mal gently guided Serenity up to where River's shuttle was slowly spinning away from where the explosion had detonated.

Jayne didn't much like the way her ship looked helpless and so lonely against The Black. Sure she was Moonier than lobotomized baboon half the time – but the times in between she was ok to hang with. And she'd saved his life. That endeared her greatly to him.

Jayne calculated his trajectory and set off, he caught the side of her ship with his left hand. He opened the door, which at this moment was substituting as the _top_ of the ship and descended into the cabin.

"Ta ma de," he whispered. _Oh god, please don't let her be…_He watched as her body hung helplessly in the air. The grav control had obviously been disabled in the explosion.

"Jayne! She still got life in her? We gotta move!"

"I ain't no gorram pilot, give me a sec." Truth was he'd watched Wash in everything he did just for moments like this. Didn't make no sense that he was deadly as he was, but helpless when it came to saving the others. He fired up the shuttle, and quickly strapped River into a chair. Didn't need her fallin' to the floor as soon as Serenity's grav control took over. "Tell Simon to be waitin' for us."

"He already is."

Jayne rounded the shuttle, bringing it parallel with Serenity and not-so-gently docked with the larger ship.

"Move!" Simon burst into the shuttle.

_You're welcome. _Jayne bit his tongue. Simon secured River to the body board he had waiting and urged Jayne to help him move her to the infirmary.

"Grab me that, no, next drawer over, the 12 gauge IV," Simon was searching frantically for a vein in River's arm as he was running a scan over her whole body.

_Remember the day she actually smiled at me in the lounge?_

"Jayne!" Simon barked "It has blue on the package. Can you understand colors?" He let the doc's tone slide right off.

_Or when we were robbing that bank and on the ride told me that Vera was lucky to have such a capable master._

"This one?" he asked stupidly.

"YES! Toss it here. Where's your head? You gonna help me or just look dumb? Do I need to get Mal to help?"

"No, I'm here." Jayne came to River's side.

_Or the time she danced like a goddess to my guitar?_

"Ok. Take the memory stick outta the scanner and put it in the display on the wall." Jayne's big clumsy fingers somehow managed the tiny memory stick and River's read outs splayed against the wall of the infirmary. "She has a lot of bleeding around her lungs, and … air around her lungs too! Oh go se!" Simon turned pale, "Jayne, third drawer there's another IV looking think in a green wrapper, grab that and in the top cabinet 2 drawers from the left there's tubing. Bring me both." Jayne did as told in record time. Simon seemed panicked now and Jayne didn't like that one bit. Simon punctured her between her ribs and hooked the tubing up to the catheter running into her chest cavity. He ran it to a small machine that kept track of how much air was being released by her body.

"Doc," Jayne's voice caught in his throat "What's going on?"

Simon looked at Jayne perplexed. What did he care? Actually, why was this brute still standing here? If he wouldn't have stopped River in the mess she never would have seen the WAVE. This was all ultimately his fault.

"Well, Jayne," Simon glared "When you were having a nice little talk or whatever you called it with my, and I quote 'moonbrain sister'" Jayne flinched at the words "She stormed off to the bridge, where she saw a WAVE that triggered her, and now after worrying that I wouldn't even be able to find her again, I DO find her. But she's in my infirmary with internal bleeding around her lungs because a rib punctured them and, oh yeah, the air she's breathing in is ALSO leaking into her chest cavity. What's going on with you?" he finished casually as if they were having tea.

"Her leg is broken," Jayne added.

"Well, I'm more concerned with making sure she WILL wake up more than I am if she's comfortable when she does. I'll get there Jayne." Simon finished his tasks. He snaked a breathing tube into River's right lung. It had escaped any trauma. The left side was the only side that sustained any damage. It was even her left leg that was broken. Jayne watched the whole time as her head fell lifelessly as it was maneuvered around for the breathing tube.

"What are ya doin' now?" Jayne was uncharacteristically nosy.

"Manually collapsing her left lung so it can heal, she's not using as much oxygen as someone awake so she can live on one lung until the other one is mended. I'm giving her drugs to make sure she'll stay asleep.."

"You really shouldn't do that as much."  
Simon looked at the impudent man. Who was he to tell him anything about his own gorram sister? "Well, that's a matter of opinion."

"She seems to be getting better, well, minus this little episode," Jayne reasoned.

"Well, if I want your opinion I'll…" he was actually arguing with the ape-man. He just stopped, he didn't have to justify himself to a hired killer. He went back to measuring a dose of sedative. River had filled out quite a bit, turned 18 (but he sure as hell wasn't letting anyone on this ship know that,) and Simon realized she was growing into a woman and with her new _ahem_ proportions he wasn't sure exactly what she weighed. He estimated the dosage as accurately as he knew. It would work. Then it dawned on him… Was that why Jayne was here? Because he'd also noticed her _ahem_ proportions? That dirty bei bi xiao ren! "Get out!" He yelled at the big man, "You wanna be in here with a helpless young woman so you can…? Get out!"

"You got the wrong idea you ben dan!" Jayne's eyes rolled with his come back. _Mostly. _"River and I were talkin' 'bout all the wrong I'd done and such. I'm actually a mite concerned for Moony here."

"Yeah. I bet you are." Simon looked at the faces peering through the infirmary windows. Mal was at the forefront, angry that he hadn't been brought up to speed yet, Zoe was fighting back tears at the thought of losing another soul from the ship. Kaylee was beside herself and Inara was hugging her and stroking her shoulder. "If you really wanna help," Simon coaxed "I need to stay with her and make sure her medicine is the correct dosage and no side effects. Fill the crew in that she was blood and air around her lungs. I've treated this kind of thing before. I'm hopeful for her but she isn't out of the woods."

"She's not outta the…you mean she really might…?"

_Die? _Jayne Cobb vomited in the med bay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to Joss and I owe him the tremendous gratitude that he's provided such great charactars and a 'Verse for them to roam about. :)**

**If there are typos please let me know. It is late and I am sleepy but I feel like this is postable :) (This is the chapter I'm using to launch the meat of the story, thanks for dealing with the incessant dribble as I establish reasons the two killers would ever tolerate each other much less develop feelings ;) I think we all know it's destiny!**

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"Now ma," Jayne stood before the WAVE unit in his bunk. It had gotten too much for him, seein' the girl just layin' there like she was dead, then up chuckin' in front of the whole crew like he did, an' then havin' to explain to 'em that the moony girl who just saved their asses from a horde of reavers and helped them nearly take down the entire Alliance may just die. All because he'd upset her and made her run from him. "Now don't go gettin' all emotional," he returned to his mother.  
"Well if you'd send a WAVE more 'an once in a coon's age I wouldn't get so choked up atchyur handsome face. How's my Jayney?" She was the only person in the whole 'Verse who he allowed to call him that.  
"Well ma," he rubbed the back of his neck "All physical an' stuff I'm doin' just fine. Got us a good doc on the ship."  
"Ah yes," Mrs. Cobb replied "the one with the loony sis?" He flinched. Those words really stung when you kinda cared about someone... not that he did, of course.  
"I wanted to talk atchya about her, she's hurt, real bad."  
"Well I promise me an' the family is gonna keep her in our prayers." She smiled a reassuring smile at her son. How could he tell her? How was he gonna tell his mom that he was feelin' all moony himself, and all over a little girl. He smiled back, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. His mom noticed sparkle gone from him and knew the girls condition was more dire than she expected and his attachment also exceeded her pervious judgement.

"Oh, I see" Mother Cobb read his silence "there's more to this than you tell." She knowingly winked at her son.

"It was all my fault."  
"No it weren't. It was them purple-bellied som'bitches. Don't you ever compare yourselves to them. I didn't raise no hun dan."  
She had such confidence in him. He was a wretched soul but he couldn't lie to the woman who brought him into this 'Verse and raised him and fed him and loved him. He couldn't hold back from his mama, woman would move the whole 'Verse for him and anyways, she was the only one who could make sense of what was going on in his gorram head. He babbled on about everything that had transpired between him and River. He told her about his near betrayal at Ariel, about his near betrayal before Miranda, about the dance that changed his life, about her confessions, about his guilt. Mrs. Cobb just sat silent for a while on the other side of the screen.  
"Now Jayne Cobb," she started off quietly "you hear me and you hear me good, I didn't raise no gorram bounty hunter. I didn't raise no man ," her voice rose in a crescendo "who furthers himself at the misfortune of the helpless. You done had the price of seven moons put on your head before and my stomach clenched with every WAVE I received 'cause I just knew some hun dan had turned your dumb ass in. You deserved it though, this poor girl ain't got no one but her weakling brother. It's now up to you, Jayne. You promise me that you're gonna watch out for them, just like they was your own family."  
"I will ma," her harsh words had cut him to the core. He wasn't going to turn River in anymore, but all she'd done was scold him and he didn't have anymore answers than before. Just a lot more guilt.  
"I'ma knit that dear girl a hat. Does her brother like socks?"  
"Can you knit one of those roses like you always put in Lily's hair?"  
"Why Jayne, you ARE sweet on the little lass?"  
"No!" He answered a bit too quickly.  
"Mmmhmmm, well I got my prayers going up tonight. I'll keep you all in them. Love you, Jayney."  
"Love you, ma."

"I don't know what happened, sir. A Firefly class transport ship just knocked us off course. It damaged the NAV system and I lost the controls."  
The private looked at his commanding officer. Sergeant Beauregard Houghton paced around the conference room of the IFO ship. Why was all of this so damn difficult? The Alliance was weak after the Miranda broadwave and they could deal the final fatal blow to the regime if only they had the intel and the money. Operation TAM was going to do that for them. But something had gone very very wrong. Now he sat with dwindling funds, no bounty, and an ammo hold that a monastery could be proud of.  
"Do we have intel as to how she disobeyed the trigger?"  
"The shuttle was in the middle of a WAVE transmission when we detonated the OBE."  
"Yes, and you couldn't retrieve they ship after the Off Board Explosive?"

"No sir, like I said the Firefly transport ship skidded us off course. They retrieved her."  
"Ah yes, under Captain Malcolm Reynolds if I remember correctly." Sergeant Houghton paced around the conference room a while longer. Malcolm Reynolds was a name he hadn't heard in years. He hoped their paths would never cross again, yet here he found that Malcolm Reynolds was the exact man he desperately needed.

"Fuck!" Jayne leaned back on his bunk and propped his feet up on the wall. Little was as important to him as being near her and willing her to get better, yet it was the one thing he couldn't bring himself to do. That would take a lot of explainin' and starin' with the crew and he wasn't up for it. He wasn't sure what his next move should be and decided to ask from help from the person least likely to receive him well but most knowledgeable in his plight. He climbed from his bunk and stormed through the ship. "Inara," he knocked on the Companion's shuttle.

"Jayne?" She was as startled as he expected her to be.

"Can I come in a sec?" She motioned him in and offered him the bench at the end of the bed. She was taking down the velvet curtains and folding them into a a storage chest. "You leavin' again?" he grew concerned.

"Um, no actually," she hesitated divulging too much information to anyone on the ship as gossip had a way of growing into little ugly monsters that made things awkward and painful. "I'm stepping a level down as a Companion. I…" She stopped short. He had enough information.

"Hey," Jayne smiled an almost defeated smile as he looked up at her "I got a secret too, I won't tell yours if you don't tell mine."  
"Jayne Cobb has a secret?" She sat on the foot of her bed opposite him, "I'm your most captive audience," she smiled and rested her head on her hand.

"I don't even know where to start, 'Nara. All my thoughts are just jumbled up here," he pointed at his head. "I think I'm growin' fond."

"Fond? As in 'in love?'"

"I don't know 'bout 'love,' but definitely fond."

"Who's the lucky woman?"

_Not so much 'woman.' _"Well, I know it's not right but… River."

"River Tam?" Inara laughed. "The girl you've tried to ship back to the Alliance twice now? That's taken you down as many times? That you've tried to get off the ship countless times? Forgive me if I find this turn of events… amusing."

"Yeah but 'Nara, didn't you see how she killed those Reavers, or when she blew up their ship, or that gorram dance at the fire…" he trailed of getting his unwelcome arousal from the memory in check.

"She _was_ quite beautiful."

"Then she kept teasin' me. It was a cruel prank, 'cause of all I'd done to her, she wanted to break me. It worked though, even though I know exactly what she was doin' it worked. I want her to wake up. I wanna apologize, and, hell, I wanna buy her flowers."

"Jayne Cobb? With the heart of ice? Mr. Blue Eyes himself?"

"You ain't helpin'" he glared at her.

"Sorry," she slipped a smile.

"Yeah, she told me a lot. Like about her time at the Academy an' what they did to her. Stuff she ain't even told Simon."

"She cried didn't she?" Inara smiled at him again. His lack of answer was taken as an affirmation. "You never could resist a woman with tears in her eyes."

"I was about to apologize and she just took off all of a sudden. To the bridge, then the WAVE, then she ran away, then she crashed and almost died, and here I am in your shuttle like a schoolgirl beggin' for advice."

"You think she feels something too?"

"I ain't got no idea. Why would she just tell me all her secrets?"

"Well, you can either take the gamble and maybe win the pot, or you can walk away with the chips you have but never gain anymore."

"What if she don't wake up?"  
"She will. Go apologize now. She can hear you."

_What is this place? Oh God! Is this Heaven? Did I die? Where's Book? Where's Wash?_

"_I knew you'd find me," Wash slid up and nudged her. "Mei mei, you took quite a beating."_

"_I AM dead."_

"_No. No, no no. Not for not tryin' though. You gotta be more careful."_

"_Yeah, the signal activated me again."_

"_I saw. I'm still on this ship. I try to stay outta everyone's way. I can't leave my lamby-toes just yet."_

"_She misses you."_

"_I miss her too." Wash came around to face River. This world, realm, dream, whatever-it-was, was blurry. Wash was there in form, kind of - definately his spirit was as bright as ever though. She wished she could see him better. She could always tell when he smiled though. She realized s__mall details jumped out at her – she admired the floral print on Wash's shirt. He kept this afterlife very bright. Even death couldn't dim the joyous pilot. "You're shapin' up to be a great pilot. Leaf on the wind, River. Leaf on the wind." He winked at her. Why was his face so blurry?_

"_I'm scared," she admitted. "Am I going to die?"_

"_No, I'm only here to guide you through this. It's scary to be alone."_

_Yeah, it WAS scary to be alone here. There was no fear with him here though. He'd wandered all this time alone. She had so many questions. When did he know he was dead? Did he see Zoe get hurt? Did he help her kill those Reavers? Did he help he pilot Serenity. Now that she was sane, she really regretted not getting to know him better. _"I_ promise you won't be alone, Wash. Anytime you want to come visit me, please do. Can you let me know? Not like Zoe, but I miss you too."_

"_I am working on lettin' people know when I visit. I don't want to be creepy though. 'Hi, dead man comin' through!'" The two spirits broke into laughter._

"_Where's Jayne right now?" she abruptly asked._

"_Jayne? You don't want to know where Simon is?"_

"_He's with Kaylee, he has a remote monitor of me in her bunk."_

"_Can you see the ship? I thought you would be trapped in your head."  
"I am. Simon's just really predictable." The two laughed again._

"_Jayne's with Inara right now," Wash offered to be her eyes._

"_Oh," she couldn't hide her disappointment. There was something about that night she danced to his guitar. She worried that she was wearing the memory out because she played it over and over in her head. The tingle of her skin as she felt his eyes travel up her flesh._

"_You didn't think you'd feel like this didjya?" Wash stepped in as a less uptight brother. He'd seen her tease him and knew her motives, but he saw right through them._

"_No," she found it so easy to be honest with his spirit. Wash was just as amazing in his afterlife as he was on the ship in true flesh and blood. "I don't know if it's because he's my only viable option or if it's 'cause I actually like him."_

"_Well, you're gonna get a chance to find out, here he comes!" Wash winked at her. "I'll *ahem .. leave you two alone." He chuckled as he left her and went to find Zoe._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Don't sue! They're not mine! They just inspire sometimes! :)**

**A/N: I'm strugglin' with the story line from here forth. I love Rayne where Jayne and River are just this powerhouse team like never before, but I also like when they fight and are about to kill each other at ever turn. LOL PLUS... what the heck.. I've started a war betweek the IFO & Alliance AND the IFO and Mal that I don't know how to resolve. :) HEEEELLLLLP :) Reviews rock my world! :)**

* * *

"An' this here's Vera," he placed River's hand on the barrel of his favorite gun. "I customized the trigger, if you flip this," he made her finger flip a switch, "each pull of the trigger fires of three rounds, but if you flip it like this," he used her finger to flip the switch the other way "she's fully automatic." He beamed with pride. "If you wake up," he lowered his voice to a whisper "I'll even let you shoot her."

After "their" dance his entire psyche had been upset – he was promisin' things he wouldn't normally promise and sayin' things he'd usually kept to himself. Hell, he'd even had a nice long chat with the doc and apologized for everything. "I promise," he'd blabbered on "to not only no longer be a threat to you and the girl, but I will protect you guys with my life. Honest." Simon was nothing if not perplexed by the man. Word on the boat was that he found himself quite smitten with the coma-fied crazy girl, Simon found that both repulsive and highly unlikely. Jayne's actions, however, played into the popular hypothesis. He was completely off his game.

"What are you doing?" Simon eased into the infirmary. Jayne Cobb was an intimidating man, Jayne Cobb was _terrifying_ with Vera in his hands. Words were words when they apologized, but actions were something entirely different and here was the large man with his largest gun with _his_ sister who was unconscious.

"Showin' her Vera," Jayne actually smiled.

"Well don't," Simon inched toward his medicine cabinet.

"Ah hell, doc, I ain't gonna hurt her or nothin'. Just keepin' her company."

"Well, thank you. She won't remember any of it." Jayne's fist clenched around the barrel of Vera. What a wang ben da. Jayne's last 4 days revolved around the hope she'd remember some of what he said.

"Whatchya doin' now?" Jayne nosed into the doc's perusal of the drug cabinet.

"This will help her wake up. I ran another scan. Her lung is healed enough she needs to start using it again. I've already been inflating it with the breathing tube, now she needs to do it on her own."

Jayne quit listening to the medical jargon. _She was going to wake up. _This 4 day affair he'd had with her may be coming to an end. She might wake up and want nothing to do with him. She might wake up and not even remember any of them. The moment he'd been anxiously anticipating _and_ dreading was comin' up. Jayne Cobb broke a sweat.

* * *

"Well, pardon me, Sergeant Houghton, but I got crew pretty banged up 'cause of you and while it's mighty temptin' to take out the Alliance, I ain't gonna risk my crew like that. Seems you take the liberty of it yourself some, but I ain't doin' that to my own. And if you ever think of pullin' another stunt like you did, I WILL personally see to it that your head is put on a stake and sent to Alliance headquarters. G'day." Mal turned the WAVE off.

"You don't think that was a little harsh?" Inara stepped from the threshold of the bridge.

"River's in a coma, 'Nara. Was I s'posed to be sunshine and rainbows?" He couldn't admit it, but when the Sergeant of the forces aboard the IFO ship offered him to be part of the revolution that took down the terrible Alliance his pulse quickened. However, there was a code among men. A code he had terribly violated.

"Not at all," she crossed to him and grazed his cheek with a soft thumb. "Just don't be so fast to make enemies in this changing world."

"I want people like him to be my enemies. Proves I'm doin' something right." He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. These moments were all too rare. "So," he pulled her closer to him, holding his breath that she didn't yank her arm away "where would a lady as lovely as yourself, like to be taken when this ship lands. I heard the Captain is kinda sweet on ya."

"Is he?" she smiled. "Well, tell him I'm already smitten with an unruly petty thief. Killer eyes," she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Petty thief," he scoffed. "I'll have you know we are about to pick up truly and wholly legitimate cargo."

"I'm sure it's little red wagons and dollies for all the nice little boys and girls of the rim planets."

"How'd you guess?" He smiled his quirky smirk and risked a kiss to her cheek.

"Psychic." She planted soft rose petal lips on his.

"Not another one!" he lost himself in her kiss.

* * *

"WASH!" River gasped as her body struggled to readapt to breathing on its own.

"Doc," Jayne stared at her wide eyed, "She's breathin' awful hard."

"She will for a few moments, her vitals are all within normal range." Jayne wanted to reach out, to hold her hand through this. He stayed back. Large mercenaries, no matter what promises they made to their mamas, didn't hold hands. River flailed as her body thought it was suffocating. _Her_ hands reached out, they reached for her neck as her raw throat had residual pain from the breathing tube. Her hand reached out to grab the armrest but found Jayne's hand instead. _Oh thank God! Someone is here. Help me! I can't breathe. My chest hurts! Help me! Help!_

"River," Jayne was on his feet. Her hand clung so desperately to his. His fingertips were turning purple. Weren't no way in hell, if she was this scared, that he was gonna let her go through it alone. "River, calm down. Think, girl! Breathe in. Try for me, c'mon."

Simon watched the usually stoic creature turn to mush in an instant. He was smoothing River's hair down with his free hand, trying to get her to look at him. The drugs that were used for that heavy of a sedation always led to horrifying episodes once the patient woke. That's why Simon opted not to watch River. Jayne, though, wouldn't let himself look away and now here he was fighting a futile fight. If River _could_ understand him, she wouldn't be able to obey. That's not how the drugs worked.

"That's a girl," Jayne smiled. Her eyes found his and as he instructed her to breathe in, her chest rose filling with air. Simon's jaw dropped.

"Wash!" River panted again.

"He's not here, Riv," _Nicknames?_ "You dream about him?" She shook her head 'no.' Jayne let it go assuming they would get an answer soon enough.

"Uh, River," Simon came to her side, she welcomed him with a groggy but wide smile. "Hey, mei mei I need to put this oxygen mask on you. Just for one night, then I think you will be fine without it." She nodded her acceptance.

Jayne took it as a good sign that she hadn't fought him, or stabbed him when waking from a dead sleep. He'd half expected it because he knew he more than half deserved it.

"Anything I can bring? Food? Water?"

"Not yet. She has a feeding tube in. That's that tube I put down her nose and you threatened me if it hurt her," Simon furrowed his brow. "You are 100% ok to be protective of her. Hell, I'd really appreciate the help," he chuckled "but you can not threaten me. She's my sister and I'm a doctor. No threats."

Jayne eyed him sideways. Bein' with River meant not threatenin' the doc. That'd put a damper on some of the fun on the ship but he could live with it. "Deal." A small voice in the back of his head asked why the doc was bein' so receptive of his not-so-subtle affection for his sis.

Simon left to tend to gash Kaylee received when Serenity jolted into full burn a few days earlier, River felt him leave the room and knew it was just her and Jayne. She turned her head to him and flipped the oxygen mask off.

"Jayne," her voice was so hoarse "You are my hero? You rescued me didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Wash told me." Jayne went pale. He took the implication as obvious as it was. She'd almost died and Wash's ghost had met her. Creepy he could just watch in on them like that.

"Did he? He tell you we played Big Damn Heroes again?" Jayne smiled.  
"Yeah, he also told me you ain't left my side more than 3 hours in five days."

"Yeah?" he was a little embarrassed. "Well, good to see he's still got a big mouth."

River tried to laugh but just whined when her muscles stretched the broken ribs. "I got shook up pretty good."

"Yeah."  
"You don't have to apologize." She broke the silent moment. "I know you want to. For all that has happened. Miranda was a new start. For both of us."

"I _want_ to make it up to you somehow," he was the one that reached out and grabbed her hand. "I could have put you in harm's way. I think about Ariel and if that'd been successful you'd be havin' those needles back in your head right now. I had no right. NO right."

"And if you hadn't kept your head on when the Reaver's were pouring in on us while my gorram moony ass was havin' a fit, we woulda all been dead. You ain't a good man, Jayne, but you're perfect."

_Perfect? This had to be the drugs talkin'._

"It's a little bit the drugs," she smiled "I didn't mean to say it all at once."

"Put the mask back on, Moony," he nudged her "we can make everything up to each other over a good long while."

"One thing," she was breathing hard now "You can call me River from here on out. It sounds good when you say it." She smiled and let him help her put the oxygen mask back on. He leaned his chair back until his head rested at her side. She smiled and cautiously reached her hand up to his head. He felt her groggy fingers weaving into his hair. "River," he smiled, and passed into the dream world with her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

* * *

"I'll have the rib eye. Medium rare. And a hearty scotch," he beamed at the pretty waitress.

"Were you just flirting in front of me?" River asked good naturedly. In fact she was quite please that, upon hitting dirt, he didn't run to the nearest whorehouse. Actually he'd sent a WAVE ahead to a fine dining establishment and set up reservations for the two of them. It was absolutely decadent; she hadn't seen anything this nice since she'd been on Osiris. Inara had helped fix her hair and makeup and helped her alter a beautiful dress for the occasion as well. Jayne even donned a dinner jacket and agreed to only take one gun as long as River agreed to strap one to a thigh under the dress. Even picturing this in his head drove him absolutely mad.

Kaylee beamed as the crew waved the couple off. Simon scowled and turned green. Mal shook his head, it weren't even 3 weeks earlier he'd found his merc and his pilot curled up in the med bay. He woke Jayne up with a pistol pointed to the head, before he knew what happened the gun was pointed at his own head. _River, I was just sending a warning._ She didn't have an assassin's stare, she had a lover's fury brewin' behind her eyes. _Like wise. Don't even mention the words airlock. _He'd heard the hammer click back, _dong ma?_ And that was that.

"Jayne," River now nodded toward the ramp in a plea to get away from all the prying eyes. It was just a short walk to the restaurant so they decided to hoof it. Jayne held out a chivalrous elbow and waited for her to link arms with him. Kaylee and Inara beamed while Mal and Simon nervously averted their eyes.

The two strolled around the busy port on Beaumonde playfully arguing over the effectiveness of the new Ranston Auto KX42. Hell, if all dates were like this, he'd probably have tried to go on a few more in his life.

* * *

"Not sure that's such a great idea, Sarge," Mal was in another argument with Sergeant Houghton.

"Look, Mal," the man was desperate but trying his best to cloak it "the girl is kind of our only hope."  
"The girl is kind of _human_," Mal was becoming infuriated, "but everyone keeps wantin' to 'activate' her like she's some gorram robot."

"There will be no more… messages… sent to her. Ya gotta understand, Captain.."

"I don't want no more talk on this. I'll do almost anything I can for the Independents, but sending a child in to do soldier's work ain't one of 'em."

"You know she's more powerful than _twenty_ soldiers, Mal."

"I know more about River Tam than your readouts and charts will _ever_ tell you. So put down her file and move to your next plan. She's my crew. MY crew." Mal shut the WAVE off and slammed back into the pilot's chair. _Is there a right side to be on anymore?_

* * *

"Hell," Jayne grabbed their jackets from the coat check "I wish I could afford to take ya to these places all the time."

"You don't have to take me to fancy places. I'm _not_ a Core-girl anymore," she frowned at the floor.

The night had been goin' so well._ What was this?_ He frowned as well, was it regret? Did she want to go back to Osiris? Did she miss the operas and ballets and fancy restaurants and museums – all the thing that could feed her genius mind? "You miss it?"

"No," she let him hold the door for him. She didn't know how to tell him that she was _ashamed _she was from a Core planet. For all her etiquette training and classes she'd taken it didn't mean a hill of beans out here. It wasn't all about how much useless knowledge you had on Earth-That-Was or quantum physincs or the mating habits of geese on Kerry. Out here you were valued by your ability to _survive._ How to fight harder than the other guy, how to keep your tongue when needed, and how to lash it at others when necessary too. "I've killed reavers by the dozens, I've been broken and rebuilt and gorramit if I don't _feel_ like a warrior woman. Strong, tested, like Zoe. I feel like I can handle the entire 'Verse and still bug Simon to death all before breakfast," she smiled with a weak attempt of humor she was glad he caught, "but I still feel like others view me as just this tiny princess from the Core."

"Well," Jayne hugged her from behind as they sauntered through the streets "Make you feel any better that I'm quite sure a healthy amount of woman is standin' in front of me. In fact, I'm kinda countin' on it." His mind wandered in lewd and lascivious directions but he reigned them back in. But you _are_ kinda tiny," he finished with a joke.

"I _can_ beat you up… this planet knows that better than any other…" she teased.

"Yeah, but then who would do this…" he stopped and kissed the soft skin behind her ear. It was a trick he'd learned never failed to elicit a moan from her as she pressed into him. It was a feeling he couldn't get enough of, 'specially since he'd agreed not to push to sex her til she was gorram good and ready. Girl was takin' her ruttin' sweet time about it too!

"Jayne," she leaned back in his chest "A storm is about to pass. History books will be written around what happens next. I need you beside me no matter what." She knew of the WAVE between the Sarge and her Captain. She knew what needed to happen, what it would lead to, and how it would change the crew forever. She also knew she would finally be free.

"You sensin' something?"

"Oh yeah."


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: Firefly charactars are not mine. :( *le sigh***

River sighed as she stared out the window of the IFO ship. Her brow furrowed deeply as she tried to remember just exactly how the hell she ended up on this gorram ship after all. It hazed together in her mind, she remembered reading Mal's conversation with Sergeant Houghton. He was a desperate, desperate man and she'd agreed to meet with him and hear him out; ON THE PREMISE that she was allowed to give him a piece of her mind. Which she did – scared Jayne and Mal just as much as the big _hun dan _Sergeant. She'd known all along the Sarge had a nephew in the Academy and this was more personal for him than it was political. _You are more than our only chance, you give me hope he can be normal again._ The Sergeant had said this over and over in his head, even out loud a few times. _I know. It's the only reason I'm not decimating you where you stand for what you did to me._

Now she stood on the large ship, hell it was more like a drifting _city._ Four floors of crew quarters, a ship deck, a cargo bay, a munitions hold that Jayne would have needed to change his pants over. There was even a whole level that was nothing but med bays on one side, and a HUGE, _fully stocked_ cafeteria on the other. She drew her lips back in disgust. _Too big_. She missed Serenity, and its crew, and her brother, and her _bao bei._ Especially her _bao bei._

He was off with the rest of Serenity, picking up cargo for the IFO on Ares. River, who now cursed her impulsive compliance with other people's plans, agreed to go ahead with Sergeant Houghton as her intel would provide invaluable into infiltrating the Academy. Simon knew just as much as she did, he's the one who'd STUDIED the Academy's layout when he broke _her_ free. His knowledge was just as valuable, but he was needed in case cargo dealings on Ares with south. She sighed in acceptance that she was the only Serenity member to go ahead to the IFO ship. If something happened to her beautiful Jayne, she wanted Simon there to fix it.

"Miss Tam," the Sergeant strolled next to her "any new thoughts?"

"No, our plan is perfectly solid assuming that the subjects will be on board with our plans as well. I WILL be able to reach them the night before." They were setting up camp in a hotel across the way from the Academy – River would barge into the student's dreams and see if any of them would be willing and able to help them with their endeavor.

"What if some of them are loyal to the Academy and alert them to our plans?"

River took the time to sufficiently roll her eyes and stare at him in her best 'are you ruttin' kidding me?' look. "Because I'm a genius. Don't you think I'm smart enough to cloak myself until I _know _their true intentions?"

"You really think of everything."

"And don't you forget that. Now, if the hands of blue are present, which they will be," she was trying to instill a proper sense of fear into him over this particular topic "that will be more difficult. I think the students are immune to their sonic instruments. They emit a sonic wave that destroys human tissue through the ear drums unless you keep a soft hum in your throat going at exactly the pitch of A above middle C on a piano. That will counteract the sonic waves at a ratio that makes it bearable to endure. Do you have harmonic destabilizers in case we need to do that manually for the rest of you?"

"You know you're terrifying right?" he smiled warmly at the invaluable asset and wonderful young woman before him "I believe we DO have harmonic destabilizers."

"Every soldier needs to be armed with one. These men are vicious and ruthless. I want no more to suffer at their hands." She squinted into the Black, holding her breath for the moment she saw Serenity come into view. "It was fabled that they can't be killed, hell for the longest time we thought they were robots; not true. They very much can die and I would like to be in charge of that detail."

"Sounds like you have a plan."

"I do. I plan on my crew being with me most of the time, but for the blue hands – I prefer if nobody else is around that I will have to worry about. Can you please give those orders. Unless they get past me – leave them be. I can't worry about friendlies when I have such a dangerous foe."

"Consider it done." He smiled and stared into the Black with her. In fact, _he _couldn't wait to see Serenity either. The sooner they came, the sooner the job was done, the sooner he could get this creepy-ass girl off his ship. Invaluable. Wonderful. But definitely creepy.

* * *

"14 days, 9 hours, and 38 seconds I was without you!" her arms held tight to a mercenary's neck and her legs gripped his waist. Mal rolled his eyes at Simon as the two stone cold killers babbled on like teenagers and then unabashedly sucked each other's face off.

"Well, I've had enough of this for a lifetime," Mal scoffed and strolled off his ship into the ship hold of the IFO Battle Class: _ATLANTIS._ He greeted the Sarge and formally introduced him to the rest of his crew. They all had their jobs to do – Simon was to go debrief all the medical staff on what to expect once the Academy students were taken on board, Inara and Kaylee were to ensure the IFO was satisfied with its shipment and then get Serenity ready for a hard flight on Osiris. They were the get away vehicle for over a dozen IFO soldiers and over 2 dozen scared, prolly crazy teenagers. He started debating why in the gorram hell he'd agreed to this. Zoe's orders were to be at his side at all times. Make sure nothin' got fishy or troublesome. She'd always been the brains. Hell, she'd even been the brawn a few times too. And Jayne, Jayne was to… well, actually, where in the hell _was_ Jayne?

"Sir," Zoe stopped him mid-question. Mal didn't even remember asking anything out loud "If you give them 30 minutes now, it'll save hours of them being with us but not paying attention to a single thing. Let them be."

He stared at her, less incredulous than he meant to be. He wanted to launch into a tirade about 'his ship' and 'what he pays them for.' But, as always, Zoe was right and Mal was humped. "Right then. Sarge, what did you and my little Albatross lay down for plans?"

* * *

"God I missed you," he growled into neck as he breathed in the soft musk of her skin.

"Yeah?" It felt so good to have him back, she tried to quantify her feelings with rationality – he was her anchor, her foundation, the solid ground on which she stood – blah blah blah. She knew the good gorram truth right at this moment was his body felt great under her hands. His biceps bulged against her sides, her breasts pressed firmly against his chest, and his growing arousal nudged her just enough to let her know how much he'd missed her too. And he'd missed her something fierce! "And here I was worried you'd forgotten about lil' ol' me," she teased.

He had no words to tease back. He probably coulda thought of something but he was too interested in the soft piece of skin right... there. Oh yeah, _right there! _He brushed his kiss swollen lips against the dip under her jaw, so soft, so delicate, so… _my god! Did she just moan?_ His breath caught as her hands clamped in his short hair, just enough to bring herself forward as her hips bucked against him. "Riv," he felt his knees weaken, "What are we doing?" She knew his question was pleading her to allow him to take her back to his bunk.

"We are teasing me and taunting me to ensure that I provide natural lubrication for the next couple hours," she smiled and climbed down from his grip. "I'll race you to your bunk," she winked "Any person with clothes still on forfeits." She took off, ripping her tank top over her shoulders as she took the stairs.

"Oh no you don't!" he was out of his boots before he took a step.

**A/N - WARNING: Next chapter will prolly contain a fair amount of smut. I'll try to keep it classy folks! :) There you've been warned. **


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Joss rules! **

**A/N: Smut. Really really really tried to keep it classy though and I PROMISE the story line will pick back up after this!**

* * *

He caught up to her, every breathtaking inch of her. Her shirt lay on the stairs in the cargo hold, her bra a few feet further in. Hell, she'd even gotten her pants off by the mess hall and even had time to stow her socks in her boots. She stopped right in front of her door and shot him a glance over her shoulder.

"_Ta ma de!" _the shiniest flesh he'd seen in his whole gorram life peaked out underneath black lace that rose around her curves like they'd been made for her body and her body alone. She gave a playful giggle and spun around, one thumb hooked in the only article of clothing she had left on. She'd taken enough time to plan her teasing to cover her breasts with her hair.

"You're realizing you've met your match aren't you?" She smirked and sauntered to him, "I've planned this moment out for a _while_ now. A good long while."

_For a while? How long had she…? _"Maybe," Jayne's voice cracked as he tried to reestablish some of his dignity and power "I'd planned some things myself." _If only she knew how true that was!_

"Show me," she breathed against his lips. He wasn't prepared for this at all. He'd landed on the ship awaiting a sweet reunion and then a debriefing, and then for things to return to normal. Now this psychic seductress had entered his girlfriend's body and was ravaging his every thought with 'special hell' kind of ideas.

He'd never been one to deny a woman her desire, he smirked back against her lips and pressed against her until she was pinned between his bunk door and his body.

His naked, virile, stunning, exquisite body pressed against her forcing her eyes to flutter involuntarily as her pulse caught in her throat. Slowly she felt an excited hand brush her hair back from her shoulder. It was the hardest waiting game, holding her breath as his eyes took in her body. She'd never felt more exposed, more vulnerable; internally pleading for his approval. She'd also never felt more complete in her life than when he sighed and leaned his forehead on hers. His pulse was racing just like hers, his breaths were coming shorter, and his arousal was palpable too.

She felt the callouses trace a hard line down her stomach for his fingers to play at the black lace clinging frantically to her hips. The finality of the moment overwhelmed her –if she proceeded she couldn't go back, she would never return to a time of innocence. Ever.

Jayne felt her tense against him; tension not of passion, but hesitation. "Bao bei," his patience and restraint even surprised himself, "Baby what's the matter?" He couldn't stop himself from crushing her against him again and feeling her breast strain against his alerted skin.

"I'm scared." There was no need to be dishonest or coy with him. The impassioned aura that enveloped them cast out the world of judgment and restraint. She pleaded her eyes to convey the words that couldn't leave her lips. _I've never wanted anything more in my life and that scares me. Nothing has ever promised me such pleasure and that scares me. I've never done something so permanent in my life and that scares me. Nothing ever goes right for me, and that is scaring the hell out of me. _

"Ah hell girl," he smiled and wrapped his arms around her shoulders shielding her from all the scary monsters of doubt pressing in around her "that's good. All human-like. I was scared my first time. Hell, Riv, I'm scared now." She pushed him back and a furrowed brow expressed just how bizarre that sounded. "Well," he explained "it's my first time too. I've only ever had sex."

"What are you thinking I had in mind for _us_ to do?"

"Make love," he trailed kissed down her ivory neck and kicked his hatch open. He released her long enough to drop into his bunk. "You ok?" he brought himself back to her.

"I am," she admitted, "but _you_ must be patient now." She took her time exploring him. He noted that the exact thing that drove him crazy, her moonbrainedness – was now literally driving him crazy. She closed her eyes and trailed fingers over his face, his long lashes, his prestigious cheek bones, the soft scar from back in his day as a mudder. She lifted herself and kissed the small mark. Her fingers traced his lips. They had brought her so much pleasure these last few weeks, she lingered.

His arousal wasn't deterred at her delay, in fact he'd never been more awakened in his whole gorram life. His moony woman stared at his face and trailed the exact same lines with the soft brown eyes as her fingers just traced. Never had one woman been so interested in every little part of him. Well, not "little"… hell he WAS Jayne Cobb after all. She continued her tour of him, over his shoulders, his arms, his stomach, his legs, his back. She skipped over his manhood assuming she'd become acquainted with that particular anatomy soon enough. She rose, however, to end at his chest. The broad expanse that had promised her she was safe quite a few times in the near past. How bold it looked now that it was to be hers and hers alone. She traced the fading scar that she'd gifted him almost a year ago. Panic filled her heart. _How could I do that? If any other woman had done this to him I would hunt her down and rip her toenails off with rusty pliers. How could I?_ A soft salty tear landed on her breast streaking a hot trail of guilt with it.

"No, no. None of that!" Jayne bent and kissed the tear from her beautiful flesh.

"Ok," she knew he grew weary of their old regrets "This will be the last time I say it… I'm sorry," she whispered and melded her body against his as she kissed deep apologies along the torn skin. Her need, her demand for _him_ drove him and he pushed her to lay her back on his bed.

"My turn," he smiled and lifted her leg to kiss her calf. He raised his kisses, between her knees, up her thighs, over the black lace, onto her stomach, and on up to settle his lips against hers. He brushed her hair back, "you ready to lose these." He tugged at the black lace. The brown eyes he lost himself in widened and a meager nod was her only response. With resolve to be gentle and controlled he kissed her hip as he coaxed the lace down, she lifted herself so he could free it from under her, and he kissed back down her thigh and calf until the panties were cast off to the floor.

This was a new level of exposed. Her truth lied beneath the bared skin, the truth of her virginity, the truth of its inevitable forfeiture, the truth of two souls melding this very night. She couldn't help to start to cover herself.

"No," he swatted her hand away. Didn't she know how beautiful she was, or how intoxicating her scent was? He bent and kissed the lips he'd been deprived before. It sent a powerful spasm through her core that rested in her chest.

"Oh god, Jayne!" the words escaped before she knew she was even thinking them. His tongue delved into her secrets and drew them from her one by one. The supple folds yielded to his assaults. The demure nub, the _key_ to his woman roused to his every whim and his beautiful flower blossomed at his touch, surrendering her sweet nectar to his gratification. Her aching gasps fueled the hungry beast in him that longed for the bashful folds to beg to please him. The coursing compulsion that grew in his yearning manhood drove the large man to rear above her – the gentleman in him smiled down at his blossom and grabbed her hand in a tantric fervor.

Never had a man been so patient, so gentle; entering only as far as his host permitted, retreating, and asking her to take him again. A beautiful dance, a beautiful, tormenting dance – both lovers pleading for more, faster, harder. Her body opened to him, ripe for harvest, and he obligingly took. He bent to her, still clasping her hand as his lips absorbed hers so he could conquer his final barrier. Her free hand reached around, digging into his back as he charged through her innocence. She lifted into him as he began their sultry dance once again, giving her all of him and then retreating only to repeat it all over again. Her body took over as the tension began to crescendo – aching against the unknown. _Would he soothe this gorram ache? Will it get better? Will he… will he…_ A rushing warmth cascaded through her as she lifted herself to him, balancing above his lap as he threw them from the cliff.

She fell. Tumbling, no sense of what was up, what was down and where she needed to be. "Jayne!" The sensations traveled from within her into her stomach, down her thighs, into her chest, up into her head. A dam breaking, a valve shattering, all the pressure pent up – suddenly released. Her lips found his shoulder and she showed her appreciation with small pants. Transcendence. She transcended to another realm and Jayne had taken her there. Her Jayne. He plunged deep into her one last time, gifting his host with his warm essence. She laid back on the bed, still hoisted slightly by his lap.

"Is it like that everytime?" she panted. She tried to recount the last few minutes, all that remained was the inescapable feeling of bliss, elation, ecstasy. No visions, no auras, no readings, nothing but her and him.

"No."

She frowned in disappointment.

"It's never been like that before," he smiled "only with you."

Her smile returned and she lifted to climb on his lap again. Allowing her to embrace him for a long moment he finally resigned her to lay down. "Jayne," she came back to _this_ realm, where the 'Verse existed, Serenity and its crew existed, and she had one hell of an overprotective _ge ge_ "I don't have any clothes down here."

"Ya look better without them anyway," he smirked and pulled her closer.


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: Charactars are not mine. 'Verse is not mine. Admitting that it's a hell of a playground to roam around in: MINE! :) Joss rules. I drool... sometimes. :)**

He couldn't help it. The swift swat at his head was a minor price to pay for her squeal as he bit her thigh when she climbed the ladder before him. Watchin' her go up in nothin' but those black lace skivvies and one of his t-shirts, he coulda froze like that for all eternity and never got bored with it. He shook his head and climbed up after her. There was work to do, after all. She struck her revenge when his body was almost all the way up the ladder, she jumped at him, turning his head to pry a kiss from him while his body, still twisted on the ladder, couldn't do nothin' 'bout its burning ache to grab all the flesh that was his now.

"Knock it off, you two," Mal stomped down from the bridge.

"Where did you come from?" River jumped and pulled down the seemingly insufficient material around her legs.

"Don't tell me I just snuck up on our resident psychic," he teased. "We got a helluva job ahead of us, Riv, clear your head."

Janye felt for his chest and stomach and head to reassure himself, "Hey! I'm not in the airlock!"

"No spacin' ya today, Jayne. Not til my lil' albatross tells me to."

"If he keeps doing what he did last night," River delighted in her Captain's sudden discomfort, "I'll beg you not to space him."

"No, NO none of that. Meeting in Conference Room B of the IFO ship in 15 minutes, you'll find your clothes on the way out I'm sure."

Jayne took his first steps onto the large Battle Cruiser, the ship bay was large enough to hold Serenity 30 times over. The bright, harsh lights were more sterile than he liked, and it was too gorram clean. If the Independents had kept everything this clean during the war it weren't no ruttin' question why they lost. Too much damn time cleanin' when there was other stuff to be doin'.

"Jayne," River slowed her pace to walk next to him. She laced her fingers between his, cautious if he would actually allow her to stay locked to him. Much to her relief and sheer bliss he squeezed and pulled her closer. "There is a lot at stake and the plan we came up with is very dangerous."  
"I already like the sounds of it."

"There will be quite a few minutes where we will be separated."

"No." Jayne was resolute and stopped in his tracks, "Absolutely not."

"Jayne," she pleaded, pulling him like a ranch hand does to a stubborn ram who refuses to budge, "there are things here that I'm trained for that will annihilate you. I can't have you annihilated."

"I can help."

"You will die."

"I'm Jayne Cobb."

"Exactly," she tried her feminine wiles instead "please trust me so I have a Jayne Cobb to come home to." Her fingers beseechingly tugged at the waist of his shirt.

"You keep a radio on you at all times. I want to be as close to you as possible, and if you get in a spot you radio me."

"That's the plan," she smiled and they continued until they reached the big wooden door classified 'Conference Room B' by a prestigious copper plaque.

Upon entering they noted the entire crew was present, so was a platoon of IFO soldiers, also the entire medical crew of the Battle Cruiser.

"I s'pose you two had a good night," Simon hissed as she sat next to him.

"S'pose you're right," she winked at Kaylee. _Tell you all about it later! s_he mouthed to the giddy mechanic.

"OK, now that we're all in attendance," Sergeant Houghton bellowed – he launched into the entire plan he and River had drawn up. From her reaching the subjects in their unconscious states, to infiltrating the perimeter of the Academy, to evacuating the subjects, and stealing certain pieces of equipment that would give them both insight to help repair the psyches of the students and also hold ammo against the Alliance. Simon was called on to designate which files were of medical importance, Mal and Jayne would head up evacuations, Zoe would oversee overall evacuation of troops, and River would be on her own mission.

"Her own mission?" Simon didn't miss a beat.

"Yes," she smiled "Very strategic, not for civilians."

"We're not civilians!" several of the IFO soldiers remarked.  
"You were never subjects," River challenged, "and never psychic. I will be dealing with men who will decimate those who aren't two steps ahead of them at all times. You will carry harmonic destabilizers at all times just in case."

"No, no, no, no," Simon disrupted the whole meeting as soon as he caught on to her intended target.

"What?" Jayne was upset he was not up to speed.

"You are not going after those… it's hopeless, River."

"I'll always be looking over my shoulder, we'll ALL be looking over our shoulders if I don't eliminate them. There are only two, I will have help from the other subjects."

"Two?" poor Jayne.

"Two by two, hands of blue," Simon explained.

This took Jayne back to a dark place. A place where he had almost lost River forever, all because of his stupid selfishness – his stupid, stupid need to think only of himself all the time. His clouded mind cleared to the specific events of that day, the capture, Simon growin' a pair and standing up to the pig Fed, the transfer to a holding cell, the beating of the Feds, the escape… the… screaming. The look of pure terror in her eyes! The unadulterated, complete alarm and panic in her shortened breaths. It was the first time he'd ever felt the want to reach out and envelop her and hold her and fight the world off until it was okay again. "No, no, no, no," he echoed Simon's reaction.

"It's already been decided," she turned to Jayne "You will be near. I will have a radio."

"That's what you were talking about? NO."

"Proceed with the meeting, my crew will come around," River stopped the disruption.

Sergeant Houghton ended with a detailed timeline of the events. River had two nights to reach as many subjects as she could. Then it was go time.

"Let's go be bad guys!" she winked and skipped from the conference room.

* * *

It was harder than they thought it would be, seeing Osiris again. She piloted the shuttle into the parking area for the hotel. Simply seeing the Academy again had wrought panic through her core. Jayne held tight to her as she struggled to remain lucid enough to land the shuttle. "Bao bei," he pulled her into the belly of the ship and closed the curtains around the windows.

"We're safe, not identified."

"I know," he lied, "are YOU okay?"

"No, I won't be until this job is done. Please retrieve the room key so I can get safe."

He kissed her quickly and briskly walked to the hotel lobby. Simon quickly applied the glue to the sides of her eyes and mouth and placed the thick glasses on her face. "That will deter ANY face recognition software. And now for me," she giggled as he donned a tight turtle neck, goofy wide legged pants, and a very very very old fedora. "No one can see my eyes," he gave the best sly impression she'd ever seen, "and Madam Cobb, you just look stunning! How lucky am I to be your generous care giver!" He broke, "Madam Cobb, that's bitter in the mouth."

"Stop it, Simon," she was returning to herself a little more every moment. "Get used to it. As soon as it's safe I want babies with that _hun dan._"

Simon plugged his ears and hummed to tune her out. The _hun dan_ returned and ushered River out in a wheelchair – the glue around her eyes folded her skin so she DID look like she could be his grandmother; and Simon, the sly caregiver strutted after them. Just another day on the carefree world of Osiris.

* * *

"It's just a mild sedative, you'll sleep but you'll be in control of all your thoughts. Theirs too."

River relented and laid back on the bed as Jayne sat next to her and held her hand in his lap, "I'll be back." She smiled and passed into her other world.

_Dreams. Damnit why were dreams always so weird! She searched the other sleeping minds that she could infiltrate. A lady 2 floors down was dreaming violent dreams, and if River had to guess, her husband had less than 72 hours to live. She moved on quickly. She crossed the empty land that must've been the road, no dreamers here, to land in a sea of orange, yellow, red, all fierce colors. Distress! Help! SOS! . . . - - - . . . Someone please help us!_

_Help is here._

_I'm looking for a man named Nathaniel. Nathaniel? Nate? Nate Houghton?_

_How do you know my name?_

_She transformed into a beautiful white dove, radiating and angelic. I've come to save you._

_Save me? There is no hope in this place._

_I didn't think so either. She broke into a myriad of doves that flocked in formation to form her face. A few moved so her mouth of doves could talk. If you help me it CAN be done. Will you help me Nathaniel Houghton._

_Tell me your name._

_You know my name._

_How are you planning to free us?_

_Your uncle and I have been working on it a while. You will meet me downstairs with any other subjects we can get, my crew will start upstairs getting everyone out that they can. Are you compromised?_

_I am not._

_Then will you help me? – she returned to her natural form. Small, tiny girl. Powerful and furious under the sheath, but cloaked behind frailty_

_You're the girl who took down a horde of Reavers?_

_In fact I am. You will meet me in two mornings at 9 am downstairs. I will have it arranged. In 48 hours you will be free and we have the medicine to repair most of what they've done to you._

_River, - she was in a hurry but he hesitated to let her go – are you happy on the outside?_

_She showed him waves of her psyche over the last few days. The auras blossomed from her palms and radiated over the two of them. She didn't dare risk giving him images of her crew yet. The yellows of joyfulness, the blue of working hard that faded to the indigo of contentment. The reds of passion and the blinding white of ecstasy. Private, private moments that she knew would relate to him like it would no other._

_There IS a life after here. It was hard, but gorram it was worth it._

_He blessed her with a smile. – What shall I tell the others?_

_Tell them to be ready, and if a man with a big gun comes in – he's actually a good guy! She returned his blessed smile and left him to reach others in their dreams. _

_One down, if Nate took half that means she had about 13 more to go. This was going to be a long long night._

"Mei mei," Simon nearly tripped over his feet to run to her as she woke.

"Simon," she smiled, "Baby," she smiled a Jayne, "All 13 I got were on board. Nate reached another 9, 5 weren't asleep."

"There are 27 in total?" Jayne realized the scale of this venture.

"Yes, if there are any who are _lucid_ and non-compliant, sedate them and move on," she was suddenly cold "I hate to say it, but the most valuable part of this mission is the data we are stealing. We can't let anybody compromise that."

"River," Simon began chastising.  
"She's a soldier," Jayne smiled. "God, I'm glad you're on our side."

* * *

_One more night of this! She repeated that mantra to herself. It was so painful reaching into minds that were so damaged. Nate had gotten the 3 of the other 5. Only 2 were unknown and that was a ratio she could live with._

Jayne watched her brow furrow in her sleep, she was concentratin' on somethin' and concentratin' hard. He didn't move a muscle, he wanted so badly to just brush her hair back, to rub a thumb over her hand, but he didn't want to weaken her dream state even a tiny bit. She'd already told him how delicate this was and he'll be gorram if he was gonna muck it up for her. So he sat, he just sat and watched his lover's brow furrow and tighten at whatever the hell was goin' on in that ruttin' moony brain. God he loved that moony little brain.

_OK, I've pulled us all into one dream together, kind of a psychic debriefing if you will.- She smiled at all the ghosts staring back at her. –I have a team ready to free you, and not free you so that you can be on THEIR side, they want you free because believe it or not you're all human. I was freed and I questioned if I was human for a gorram long time. I still question it, but I am more human out here than I ever was in there. Do you guys wanna be human again?_

_The approval was unanimous. She flashed the game plan in their minds, the timeline. Who would escape and when, who would stay to fight, and what exactly would happen to them once they arrived on her ship._

_Why are they sedating us?_

_Because, you don't know exactly what's gone on, but your brain has been sliced strategically to make you respond in very frightening ways. This will only be until you get back to the main ship with the better medical equipment and your brain actually starts to heal. It took years with me, but since they've had all that practice on me, it should take just a very short time for you. You will be awake as much as possible, as long as you aren't hurting anyone or yourselves._

_Why would we hurt ourselves?_

_I asked myself that very question. It doesn't make sense but that's what happens when your brain won't line up with itself anymore. I know sedation is just another master to serve, but I ask you to trust me that this time liberation is at hand._

_Of course we trust River Tam. Your name brings more hope to people here than you can imagine._

_Then don't hurt my crew when we come. Fight your urges. Don't. Hurt. My. Crew. She left them with that stern warning._

"Jayne!" she woke up screaming.

"What? What?" he jumped from his slumber in his chair.

"Ohmygod! I thought you were dying! I just saw bullets and you got shot in the shoulder and they hit your with the butt of their shotgun and…"

"Stop, stop," he pulled her in, "I think you accidentally caught my dream on your way back."

"You were dreaming that?" Simon had been startled awake as well.

"It's an old memory, pops up sometimes," he shrugged.

"Getting shot? Getting a gun upside the head? Memories that 'come up?'"

Jayne and River exchanged a knowing glance. Her dreams haunted her too. Men gnashing, and raping, and killing, and the hell of it was some of the memories weren't even hers. She steeled her reserve to help the subjects survive her fate.

"Ok, men, you need to head out, re-dock with Serenity and don't you dare be late. Attack begins at 0900. You have 4 hours."

"The students all on board?" Jayne asked.

"Yep, I told 'em not to fight the big hairy one with a scary gun," she smirked and gave him a very VERY lingering kiss goodbye.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Still don't own, don't profit either 'cept for the joy of still havin' some good ol' Firefly action goin' on! :)**

**A/N: THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed or followed this story. I hope I keep delivering a story you all are interested in. Input is LOVED, so let me know! :)**

**Commence Mission: 0900**

0857: Target in sight. Beta Unit on approach. Adrenaline levels elevated.

She engaged her diaphragm and her chest expanded. Air in. Air out. Breathe like a warrior, think like a warrior, kill like a warrior, live like a warrior. Munitions: 2 Maverick CZ-45s in her shoulder holsters. 9 shots each clip, 4 extra clips on her belt. Thigh strap is holding a Hauser SB shotty with 9 rounds loaded. No extra. 2 blades on the left leg, one in the right boot, 1 sword in a back holster. A strap clung a Boisen 67 automatic repeater with tungsten ammo. 3 extra clips. Also on wait in her munitions supply: one very vengeful assassin woman with a strong need to hurt someone; and hurt them real quick like. The vengeful assassin had a very handsome mercenary she needed to spend some quality time with.

0859: "Mal, you got a copy?"

"Yeah, Riv. You ready for this?"

"It's what they made me for," she smirked.

"Well we are in position in 5..4..3..2.."

"Let's light 'em up."

**0900**

Air in. Air out. The automatic door greeted River to the warmly inviting lobby. Soft lounge music lulled the its visitors into a content state and the lush, but fake, greenery invited a sense of peace. River's bullet disrupted that instantly. _Bullet in the brainpan, squish!_ The secretary slumped over the reception desk oozing blood onto her fabricated paperwork. A pirouette and 2 more perfectly placed bullets later the guards found similar fates.

"Nathaniel Houghton?" she addressed the student in the room. He was wearing the standard cotton fatigues with metal electrodes in strategic points. A "mandatory" check-up had been ordered and he was waiting on the officials that would never arrive.

"River Tam?"

"Here are your weapons," she handed over an extra Maverick, and extra Boison and a belt that held two extra clips for each.

"Wow, got anything else stashed in that coat?"

"No time for jokes," she instructed "we have 33 seconds to reach the back stairwell. You have 7 to eliminate on your side, I have 9. Good luck."

River Tam disappeared around the corner. _Eliminate? _Sure they'd made him kill plenty in his time there, but this would be voluntary, while he had control of his own mind. This was his condemning moment, this was wrong. Everything he'd been taught as a little b…

"I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS," she appeared from around the corner. She grabbed his hand and led him down his side of the hallway. Alarms began blaring and red strobes overtook the harsh fluorescent lighting. She kicked in the first door to see a teacher and an admin official reaching for the phone to inquire about the alarm. She answered their questions with her blade slicing through their fleshy throats. She left them gurgling on the floor. She exited the room to find a janitor trying to escape further down, her Maverick stilled him with a single shot. 3 had escaped thanks to Mr. Houghton's hesitation, which left only one more to eliminate. She rounded the corner. "Mrs. Langy," she smiled at the elderly lady and fired a round point blank into her forehead.

Nathaniel watched the blood splatter behind the collapsing teacher. She hadn't been armed, she hadn't even seen it coming. "How can you be so cold?" he shuddered.

"Listen to me!" She grabbed him by his shirt, "Not a single person here doesn't know what goes on here. You know this just as well as I do, yet they let it happen. Hell, people like Mrs. Langy here _suggested_ me for the 'advanced' program knowing full well what they would do. They took my brain, I'm simply returning the favor. Either get your head in the mission or give me your weapons back so I have ammo."

"I thought I was just helping with the Blue Hands."

"Useless," she insulted and ran to the stairs, "I'm 15 seconds behind schedule." She ascended the stairs two at a time and blasted off quick rounds from the automatic into a group of 4 teachers trying to escape. She dealt with that floor alone while Nathaniel waited on the stairs. "Mal," she yelled into her radio, "I'm about 20 seconds behind schedule. Have someone leave me a shuttle."

"I ain't leavin' you behind. What's the hold up?"  
"Mr. Houghton isn't as war readied as his Uncle." Two more blasts found their targets, this floor was clear.

* * *

"I ain't leavin' her, Mal," Jayne was resolute.

"I ain't plannin' on it either."

"I'll stay with the shuttle."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Jayne fell 3 more doctors and medical staff and ushered the subjects to the roof access. They would climb the stairs and find Kaylee or Simon waiting to help them to the ship. This job was becoming a piece of cake. Hell, Kaylee disabled the security feeds and communication lines, this was like takin' candy from a baby!

"That the last of 'em?" Mal was cheery as well.

"Yep, get a 20 on River, I'll go see if I can help her."  
"River, where you at?"

"5th floor, about to meet up with you. A few teachers were able to flee because we didn't stick to the plan," Mal smiled, he knew Nathaniel Houghton was getting the Tam stare of disapproval. "But we should be… oh _go se…"_

"River? River?"

"Get out!"

* * *

The red strobes only added to the eerie glare from the two men in front of her. Things had been going too well, this is where the mission would be won or lost. Two by two…

"Hello, gentleman," she smiled like she'd seen Mal do dozens of times to his adversaries.

"The prodigal daughter returns," one sneered. She decided she'd name this one Snake Eyes.

"I doubt I'll have a homecoming party."

"On the contrary," the other oozed a smile that welled in the pit of her stomach as malicious and subsequently euphoric. She decided this one would be named Hammer, "we plan on celebrating abundantly. Catching up on old times you might say."

"Oh let's!" she started pacing, "I have so much to catch you guys up on." She delivered round house kick to Hammer's chest and he flew against the far wall. "I thought that would be a lot harder."  
"Your arrogance will make your fall so much sweeter," Snake Eyes sneered.

"God, won't it?" She flung a stiletto at his knee. He easily dodged it and paced toward her, malice in his thoughts. _You are made special so that society could benefit._

_Exactly, I'm made like this so I can take you down._ She blocked a forceful blow he was directing at her shoulders, Nathaniel forcefully chopped at Snake Eye's neck. He fell back briefly, gasping for air – River saw her opportunity and kicked him through a wide set of double doors into an infirmary. She blocked Hammer from a running attack on Nathaniel with one strong determined arm and confined him to the med bay as well. If they activated their sonic death sticks they wouldn't harm anybody else.

Jayne ran toward the 5th floor stair well, hopefully he'd be able to locate her. He frantically looked for her tiny silhouette, instead he found a man built an awful lot like Simon dashing into a med room. He had the stance of both a fighter and a scared kitten about to bolt. _This is the nephew of the towering Sergeant. Well that's disappointin'! _He looked through the slotted window coverings and all he could see was his assassin woman dealin' blows and blockin' blows and lots of petite arms and blue hands flyin' everywhere. _Why ain't that gorram boy helping her?_ He caught a glimpse of brown hair fly across the room and slam into a stainless steel medical cabinet. A snakey eyed blue hand held thestance that had dealt her blow. Jayne didn't need to see any more, he kicked the doors open and aimed Vera at the Alliance Pigs. She caught sight of him briefly as her vision returned – his biceps raged from beneath his shirt as Vera's weight proved her power. His eyes and his head were full of rage because they had hurt her. _Her._ He got a round off that struck Hammer in the shoulder before Snake Eyes took out his death stick.

"Turn on your harmoni…." River got out before a terrible vibration rattled her entire skull. She got hers engaged and suddenly the nodes on her suit counteracted the sonic disturbance. She assessed and Nathaniel had gotten his activated as well. A loud yell directed her to her lover who was just clutching at his head. "No, no, no, no!" She ran to him to help him turn his device on and panicked when she noticed that it WAS. _What is the…?_

Her vision faded to white and her body moved without her. Instantly her lips sealed around his temple and she hummed a perfect A above middle C. The white in her vision broke into 0s and 1s. _Code? How the hell?_ She pushed Jayne out of the infirmary and closed the doors, shutting off the sonic attack. They collapsed against the far wall. He groaned against the ache in his head, and ran a hand over his lifesavers hair. She knelt, trying to see through the code. Files were rewriting themselves, zeros and ones spun in front of her. _Just give me an objective!_ The code stopped and redirected for her, Objective: Annihilate any threat to _family_. Holy _go se_ she'd done it! When she had to redirect the code to avoid the IFO, she'd completely reprogrammed it! Now she was activated. There was no stopping River Tam when she was active. Nothin' in the 'Verse.

"Jayne," she brought his face to hers and kissed a small trail of blood from his lips, "30 seconds. If I'm not back in 30 seconds GO!"

He looked at her through blood filled eyes, weren't no way in hell he'd leave her. He saw enough, though, the feral gleam in her dilated eyes to know to not get in her way. It was the same look she'd had at the Maidenhead. She stood quickly and rushed through the doors and resealed them as quickly as a ghost.

Jayne stood, leaning on Vera to hobble to the window. River circled her prey, no weapons in hand yet she was absolutely terrifying.

River paced around her target, 25 seconds left, an attack from the left would be easily defended, an attack from the right would put her right into the disabled hands of Hammer who may still have some fight in him. Eliminate weaker one first. She charged at Snake Eyes first then jumped over the infirmary bed, surprising Hammer. She drove her blade into his gut and ripped up toward his ribcage. Target #1: Eliminated. Snake Eyes didn't even shudder as his partner spurted blood onto the surrounding counter, River herself, and finally fell, his blood pooling on the floor. It was his sole purpose to pacify River Tam. Too bad he wasn't aware that she'd been activated. She calculated every angle of the room. Now an attack from head on would be an easy block, he was turned around so now an attack from the left put the bed in the way, and a right side attack would be a throw away attack. He'd see it coming from a mile away.

_Tick-tock. 13 seconds left to eliminate last target. _She rushed at him and at the last second veered toward the bed. It _was_ unsuspected and Snake Eyes was a half second late on his defense. River leaned one hand on the bed and spun her body around it, kicking her feet out far enough to kick out behind Snake Eyes. She pulled her legs around quickly and climbed on his back to finish her assault.

Jayne watched as the woman who had softly kissed him that morning, who had quickened to his every touch just days ago- savagely and swiftly brought her Maverick to this mans head and left a crater where his brain had been. The infirmary was sound proof, but he watched her mouth form into a ruthless scream as she was bathed in the blood still spurting from the downed Blue Hand. He crumpled to the floor and she fell with him only to lean back against a cabinet recounting the last few minutes. She'd just eliminated her worst fear, the ONE power that could have brought her world down around her. Life was possible now, life was no longer looking behind them at every turn. Nothin' in the 'Verse.

_JAYNE!_ She ran out the doors and grabbed him around the waist. She buried her face into his chest wiping the blood off her skin.

"You're terrifyin'," he smiled.

"Yeah, I feel it right now. But we're safe. I'll never have to come back here," her voice became vacant as it did when she was readin' the truth. She leaned Jayne back on Vera and stormed into the infirmary again. "Nathaniel, get up. Let's go." He hovered in corner, the rusty, salty stench of blood froze him. He was definitely not as war hardened as his uncle. "I said move, soldier!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the hall away from the blood. They hobbled through the halls, up the stairs to the roof. Serenity had departed, but they left the second shuttle. River rushed the men in and made sure everyone was securely fastened in. Local and federal authorities would arrive on scene in 3..2..

She lifted the shuttle and sped from the roof. Three locals, and five fed ships followed her through the skies. She dipped to the right and diverted the power to the port side thruster to let her slide around and zoom through a street, just above the residents hovercrafts. "Oh, Jayne, look! That was my old dance school, and over there was my favorite opera house." He smiled and flashed his blood filled eyes at her, "you need to see Simon ASAP. Mal!" she shouted over the radio.

"River!" his voice flooded back full of relief.

"Jayne needs Simon, non-fatal injuries, I'm being followed by 3 locals, and 5 feds." She rounded a corner and sent the thrusters full power into burning them up into the higher altitudes. "Make that 1 local and 3 feds," she caught a sight of 4 ships crashing on the difficult turn. "I'm at 3,500 feet and climbing above 53rd and Locast St."

"We're coming to you, hang on!" She kept the shuttle climbing, the local patrol dropped off at 5,000 feet – just as she suspected he'd have to with the Range M-14px model that he was driving. She then dove, nose first toward Osiris.

"River!" Jayne felt the change in G-force and wasn't sure how much more his body would go through.

"I know, only 2,000 more feet!" She drove the shuttle on the edge of insanity, the code still humming in her head, "Now! Hold on!" She pulled the shuttle out of its nosedive and climbed back into the upper atmosphere. The remaining ships didn't have quite enough power to pull them from their plummet at such a velocity. Arrogant _hun dans._

"YEAH!" Mal's voice screamed over the radio, watchin' his little 'tross from a front row position just under the clouds. "Brilliant, River. Bring 'er on home. Let's get off this planet." The shuttle climbed and gently docked with Serenity.

"That's my good girl," River patted the control panels. "They're sending reinforcements, Mal. As soon as you get us outta atmo, send decoys like you did when we rescued Inara." She docked and helped Jayne out of his restraints. She looked back to find Nathaniel soaked in his own vomit. "Oh, Nathaniel, I am so sorry! I'll clean this up, don't worry about it." He didn't know who this sweet girl was. When she turned around her eyes were gentle, homely even. It didn't negate the fact that she was _covered_ in blood. Blood he'd seen her brutally spill, almost overjoyed to bathe in.

Simon rushed in the shuttle and helped Jayne to the infirmary. Kaylee gasped when she saw the blood stained eyes and joined the parade that helped Jayne to the med bay. A couple dozen cots were strewn about the cargo hold with dozing students.

Inara gently rubbed the man's arms, "We need to have you sleep as well." He just nodded, happy to be coaxed by such a gentle hand. "I'm Inara, you must be Nathaniel." He nodded again. She led him to his cot and began cleansing his skin for an injection.

"Inara," he finally spoke, "she's so..brutal."

"River?"

He nodded again. "Yes, her tactics and lack of… a conscience, is horrific."

"She's seen a lot of death," Inara knew the boy's fear. The gentle crazy, River could reign distruction and death in the most gruesome and ghastly ways. "She will stop at nothing to make sure those that she loves are safe."

"Is that my fate? No.. refinement." A sudden sadness overtook him.

Inara flinched, she knew it wasn't meant as an insult. Turth was, she didn't know many who were refined like River was. Beautiful, graceful, but not helpless. She was beautiful – but she knew the booy's fears. "I don't believe so. River went through a lot you won't have to. Thanks to her, Simon has figured out the medicines and treatment that is best for you. River was kind of a test subject even once she was freed. Trying to find what drugs worked. That's all been figured out for you. Sleep easy, Nathaniel, for when you wake, life will be new." He let her slide the needle into his skin.


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: Still not mine. Don't profit, other than getting to play in Mr. Whedon's 'Verse for a while :)**

**A/N: This is a choppy choppy chapter. It's another one of those I-need-to-set-the-story-up-bear-with-me chapters. :) Hope you enjoy regardless. :) Love the reviews and everyone that follows the story. Makes me so happy! :) Un-beta'd - and it's mid-night (yes I turn into a pumpkin) so any mistakes are mine and please call me out on them if you'd like. OK, without further ado...**

* * *

The security feed looped in front of her again. It had been taken from a street camera on 54th. A tiny, wispy girl stormed in the front doors of the Academy pulling a pistol from her shoulder holster.

"We don't have any visuals inside the facility," an Alliance federal patrol informed her "they took all the security feeds, as well as all the patient records. Even your daughter's."

"I can't tell if it's her," Regan Tam lied. "If it is, it's not the River I remember." It was obvious there had been some truth to what Simon had been telling them. This was not the daughter that left them, smiling, all those years before. She wasn't about to turn the federal authorities onto her children willingly.

"And how about _this_ feed? It's from the roof of the Capital City Credit Union. By this ship here, is that your son Simon?"

"I can't tell," she shook and began shedding fake tears "If that WAS River, why would she have a gun? Were they… Did they… kill anyone."

"All the staff and faculty at the Academy were murdered except 3 that escaped from the first floor. They said she was pretty violent. She's had combat training. Plus, we've identified that as the Firefly Class Transport Ship named Serenity. It's known for smuggling. It's even said they're responsible for the Miranda broad wave. The crew of Serenity has been a thorn in the side of the Alliance for some time now."

"I wish I could help, I just don't know."

"Well thank you, Mrs. Tam." The fed exited the holding room and met his partner in the hall. "She's sealed like a bank vault."

"Well, Mr. Tam has given us enough verification to pursue. Gave us everything, 99% verification on Simon Tam, not as sure on the girl, but said he could believe it."

"Well, now we just have to sift through the decoys and wait for Serenity."

* * *

"Simon," she stood, locked to the side of the infirmary bed "what are you doing now?"

"He's had blood vessels rupture in his kidneys, spleen, pancreas, all the major organs, and his muscles too. I'm giving him an anti-clotting agent, an antibiotic, a tissue reparative, and a mild pain reliever."

"No narcotics," River demanded, "I have plans for him." A smile spread across the killers' lips. She was still covered in blood and there was something so sexy about a woman so unfazed by death that she could still be hot and bothered covered in the innards of those who she fell. Sexy.

"None of that!" Simon admonished. "And I don't mean just 'no talking about it in front of me.' I'm sure blood vessels ruptured _down there_ as well and you need to let them heal. For at least a week."

"A week?"

"A week?" They both chimed in panic.

"A week. At least."

"This ain't one-a your plans to keep my mitts off your sis is it, doc?"

"No, in fact, I'm giving you this advice because if she ever wants children I want you to be able to give them to her," Simon forced a caring smile.

The men turned from the awkward moment when they heard River gasp and fall on her back to the floor. Jayne had seen her like that before, at Lilac when Reavers interrupted their bank heist.

"Bao bei!"  
"Mei mei!"

Simon waited for her to stop convulsing and Jayne struggled against the arm restraints that were keeping him tied to the bed. "They know the IFO ship sent us. Give me a comm." Simon pulled Jayne's comm off of his shirt and handed it to his sister. "Mal, Mal. Do NOT go back to the IFO ship. Tell Sergeant Houghton to take one of their smaller med ships and meet us somewhere."

"What are you gettin' at, Tross?"

"There's a rat on the ship, let them sink. Tell Sergeant Houghton to meet us on Ariel. Once he's away from the ship and its rat we'll tell him where to _really _meet us. His superior, General Farning, can't know what's going on. Tell him we need the medical attention right away. The General is the rat."

"How sure are you?"

"100%"

"Ta ma de."

River was helped to her feet by her very astounded brother. Anyone who River loved and swore to protect was the luckiest people in the 'Verse. He'd never been happier anywhere in his life. He hated watching her run her hands through her hair and catch her jolt slightly when she'd hit a scar – but now that she was recovering he was so proud of everything she could do and how she was using it to help those she loved. Even if she loved the stinky, back-stabbing Jayne Cobb._ The man had redeeming qualities, he HAD to, right?_

"River," Jayne reached out and grabbed her hand "I'm kinda sleepy. Go shower, Gorgeous. I'll be awake in a little bit."

"Ok." The quick kiss she bestowed on him gave her a warm sense of familiarity with him. The passion between them still burned there, churning below the surface. Now, however, she liked – she LOVED being able to claim his lips at her every whim. She _would be_ exploiting that. She sashayed out of the med bay and off to his bunk for a shower.

"Doc," Jayne turned a serious tone on Simon, "I ain't done right by y'all in the past. I apologize. And thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For not spacin' me. Or poisonin' me, or anything that you coulda thought up."

"Well, you hurt my sister I'll revisit my decision."

"I hurt your sister I'll throw myself out the airlock."

* * *

"Gabriel!" Mrs. Tam was near hysterics and yelling at her husband "they are our children!"

"They betrayed us, Regan."

"I'd say we betrayed them first! Simon tried to warn us."

"Pull yourself together. They were ungrateful."

"She kills people! Cold blood. The ones that escaped said it was the most terrified they'd ever been in their life. She'd just shoot them, kill them, and move on. My little girl! Gabriel! My little girl!"

She stormed out of the room.

Later that night, with a small bag packed she slipped out under the cover of darkness. She snuck from their plush house, she ran from the security and safety that money and privledge had provided and she headed to the public transport hub. She plotted it perfectly; busses would get her to the interplanetary station and in four days she could make it to Persephone. Even she knew any ship that sailed in the 'Verse dealing in trade HAD to stop at the Eavesdown Docks on the border planet. Someone would know Serenity. Someone could help her find her babies.

* * *

They'd traveled a few days toward the Red Sun system. With the Nav and pulse beacons of both ships disabled, no Alliance troops nor technology would be able to track them to Athens for at least a few weeks. They had the time they needed to regroup.

"Captain Reynolds," Sergeant Houghton greeted the crew on a small moon as far away from Ariel as possible. "Thank you again, for warning me about the Alliance. I even have the Independent Parliamentary Forces investigating the General. I promised no harm would come to the Tam girl and it looks like he was planning otherwise."

"Good. You've brought a med ship?"

"Yes, and a platoon of my special forces, and the entire med team. I've pulled the NAV and the pulse beacon and I've rerouted the WAVE address like you told me to. We are as untraceable as you."

"You can always be traced, the trick is to make it take so long you're already in the next sun system before they catch on," Mal smiled. "Alright, let's get these kids some med care."

"Agreed. Did you wake my nephew?"

"Yes, he's in the mess. Let me take you to him. Kaylee, gather everyone in he cargo bay in 20."

"Yes, Cap'n." She headed for the infirmary. Jayne had recovered quite nicely in the couple weeks they'd roamed the black. His eyes were still dreadfully red, but it was getting' better. Slowly. It was still creepy how River watched his every move. She looked like a compressed coil ready to spring. Simon had noticed it too – even in her sleep she kept her head cocked against the pillow as if she were still listening to everything. Creepy. Cute but creepy.

That morning Jayne finally admitted it too. "I think she's been activated."

"Activated?"

"Yeah, like a Maidenhead. She's got that vacant look sometimes. I've done see it up way to close. I know it. She's active."

"How did she get activated? When?"

"I dunno. Say the safe word thingy."

"Well if she'd not activated then I'll just sound dumb," Simon whined.

"He's right," River woke from the second bed "but don't deactivate me."

"What activated you, darlin'?" Jayne crossed and brushed her hair back.

"I did," the hoarseness from her night's sleep still hung on her voice. She explained the cracks in the code that drug her to the IFO ship the first time, and rearranging folders and changing files. _Rewriting _the code. Then she explained the zeros and ones that swam in her vision during the Academy operation.

"Babe, I would like Simon to deactivate you," Jayne asserted a very stern request.

"No, then I can't protect you."

"You said yourself you activate yourself if anyone is in trouble. Let it activate _then._ Turn you into your sexy weapon self. Right _now_ though, give me my soft beautiful woman back. Let Simon have a little time with his mei mei."

"Eta kuram nah smekh." Simon didn't give her time to argue, her head fell lax against the pillow again.

"Cap'n wants us all in the cargo bay in 20," Kaylee popped her cheerful head in the infirmary. Jayne's eyes were _much_ better this morning. Her bao bei was such a medical genius. It was kinda weird that River wasn't up yet. She was always up first. Well, there were a couple pancakes left upstairs, so she quickly dismissed herself.

"Oops," Simon chuckled "River won't make the meeting." Jayne, off of his stupid ass lifting restrictions, carried his beautiful woman to her old bed. He'd have to survive without her for 3.5 hours.

* * *

"A Firefly named Serenity?"the man's brogue clearly indicated he was native to Titan. She immediately regretted approaching him. The fancy hat was a rouse, his tattered vest clearly gave away that his money was nothing but a charade. He was short too. She didn't like him, not one bit. She tried thinking of proper ways to excuse herself. "I just might know a bit 'bout them. What's your question, love?"

"Can you find them?"

Badger couldn't help it, he was amused. Why was a fancy Core lady askin' for his best smugglin' ship? "What are they to ya?"

"I have family on that ship."

"Oh ya do now? The Captain? Maybe Zoe, the first mate? Maybe the pilot? You 'eard 'bout 'im I reckon."

"No."

"Well, 'e's dead."

She gasped "What about the doctor?"

"Oh that makes perfect sense! The fancy pants doc! Yeah, 'eard 'e got 'imself shot up, but 'e's doin' well 'nuff. Reckon I could send 'em a WAVE. It'll cost ya."

"I can afford 20 credits."

"Well then, we're in business."

* * *

"She's asleep?" Mal was wearin' his unamused face "Well go wake her up."

The next 10 minutes were spent explaining she'd been activated. _How?_ Well she did it herself. _Why? _Cause Jayne was in trouble. _When? _At the Academy. _She's been activated this whole time?_ Seems that way.

"Well hopefully she'll less terrifying when she wakes up."

Jayne looked at the insolent nephew of the Sergeant. He obviously hadn't been through half of what she'd been through and here he was passin' judgment and talkin' bout _his_ woman like she was less than him. Jayne boiled.

"She ain't terrifyin'," he growled.

"She is and you know she is," Mal chuckled "She's been through a lot, Nathaniel. If you don't mind me sayin', it seems like you didn't get it half as bad as she did in there. What all went on? She can't talk about it."

"She was in the psychology wing because of her being a reader. I was an exceptional athlete. We all have our strengths that got exploited. They messed with my muscles and bones. They infused me with some alloys and some serums that made me faster and stronger than any other human."

"You don't look that strong," Jayne fussed. Nathaniel reached into the crate of used engine parts that Kaylee had spent the last 4 days organizing and grabbed a gnarly and beaten flywheel. He held it up for them, then proceeded to crumple it like a piece of paper.

"Glad you're _not_ crazy," Kaylee sang as the rest stared in disbelief.

"Yeah, it left my body pretty wrecked, but I heard the psychology wing is ten times as awful. So many suicides. Especially once they reach level thre.." he cut off.

"Level three?" Simon pried "What happened at Level 3? What did they do?"

"Well, it's …" The 17 year old blushed a bright crimson and tried to continue "they'd go into level 3 right at puberty when the hormones are at the highest levels so far in their whole life and they'd… 'stimulate' them. They'd show them images, play audio, bring in live models, but they'd never get touched. Nor were they allowed to touch themselves. For months they'd keep them…aroused" his blush deepened, "but then just send them away strapped down. It was to increase their frustration. Their violence. I think it worked."

Nobody tried to stop him when Jayne stormed away from the group, cussin' and seethin' the whole way back to River's room. He curled next to her on the bed. She was still out cold, she looked so peaceful, he liked it when she looked so serene. Hell, he even liked her when she was crazy as a loon. How could someone so young have gone through so much. Kinda reminded him of himself. Ya didn't run away from home at 15 cause your life was too simple, still, she was so delicate, dainty, beautiful. It wasn't fair. He traced her soft lips with a rough finger, his calloused hands brushed her silken hair back, her scent intoxicated lungs that usually begged for a stout cigar. He pulled her body tighter against his. She would never be left unsatisfied again. Not while he drew breath.

* * *

The alarm sounded that a WAVE was waiting to be received. "Ta ma de!" Mal excused himself from the meeting that he arranged and shot up to the bridge to take the message. "This is Captain Mal Reyn…"

"Well Cap'n," Mal knew Badger's slimy voice anywhere.

"Hello, Badger. What do I owe the honor to today?"

"Gots a lady what wants to meet up wit' you."

"Yeah? And who might that be?"

"Hello, Captain Reynolds," a woman with a regal frame, but delicate yet somehow familiar features came into view, "my name is Regan Tam."


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: STILL NOT MINE. NOT THE 'VERSE, NOT THE WONDERFUL CHARACTERS, NOT EVEN THE SETTING. THEY BELONG TO THE WONDERFUL MR. WHEDON. PLEASE DON'T SUE, I'M JUST LETTING THEM OUT TO PLAY. **

****NOT BETA'D - ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE. PLEASE BE GENTLE. :) ****

**Sorry it's been a while since I'd posted. I realized that I was in love with the characters and wanted them to carry on in this crazy verse, and now I've run out of story line. So I'm going to throw a bit more smut (classy of course,) plot, and resolution out there and wrap this up in a few chapters. **

* * *

_I can't believe she had to endure that_

_Why hasn't she told me about Level 3? She tells me everything._

_Poor lil' 'Tross, what else did she have to go through other than Level 3?_

_I'ma kill those ruttin' bastards. First I'ma skin 'em, then I'ma shoot 'em, and if they ain't dead by then I'ma set 'em on fire. _

She was having a harder time than normal tuning people out. Their thoughts were so loud; that only happened when people were overly emotional about things. They were all beside themselves with consternation over something called Level 3. All of their faces were anguish when they looked at her. She hadn't been a shade of sane _that_ long, but long enough to know these thoughts revolved around her.

What was Level 3? And why were they worried about it as it related to her? This wasn't something in her past, or her present. Was it something that was coming in the future? Of course not, she'd be the first to know. It would be easiest to just come out and ask 'what is Level 3?' The whole crew was agitated, though, and it could lead to more anxiety. She was barely holding on to the sanity that came when she could block the others out, if she spiked their emotions any further, she would be in danger of not being able to control things again once their thoughts took her brain over. It was a fine tightrope she walked these days.

Was it something Simon had told them? No, he was just as distressed as the others. That's the perfect way to figure out who told everyone about Level 3, who wasn't crippled by the thoughts? The only one who wasn't restless was the Sergeant's nephew.

"What's Level 3?" River cornered him coming out of the guest quarters.

"What do you mean?"

"I keep hearing it from people's head, like they're shocked about it. You're not shocked or irritated at all, so I know it's not new to you. What's Level 3?"

He stared at her, a look of confusion and disbelief played across his face.

His head told her everything she needed to know. The images were what Nathaniel thought Level 3 would be like, but they were close enough to trigger her memory. She shot back in horror and landed with a jolting _thud _against the metal wall. These were memories that she's stored away under lock and key but his conjured images were fairly accurate. She dropped to the floor gasping for air as she was assaulted with images, some from her memory and some from Nathaniel's imagination, of her writhing almost at command of another and then left to deal with her _needs_ only she wasn't allowed to. Destroyed and left, road kill left for the vultures.

"Oh god!" nothing could stop her outburst. She felt it, she was reverting back. _Insane_. They broke every part of her, she now realized, only to build her back up. _Insane_. She was slipping back into the broken state they'd wanted her in still. _I've come too far to let them win._ Pep talks and psycho-babble flooded her mind trying to get her up off the floor and back to 'normal' again. It was to no avail.

"What in the hell is going on down here?" Jayne stormed over from the cargo bay after he heard his lover's shriek.

"She asked about Level 3. Then, like she all of a sudden remembered, she just freaked out."

"You get the ruttin' hell away from her!"

"What's the commotion?" Mal was trying to keep a peaceful ship, a goal constantly sought, rarely obtained.

"This… pi gu…"

"I am _not_ a pi gu! She asked!"

"_You're_ askin'," Jayne's eyebrows arched toward his hairline, "for an ass-whoopin'. You stay the hell away from her."

"Jayne!" River tried clutching to something familiar. She reached out to him, blind from distress or just not paying attention, she clutched at the air as though it was providing life itself. Jayne caught her arms and lifted her around him.

"Don't you worry, baby doll," he held her in one arm while the other freed itself to smooth down her hair, "we're going to find them and kill them."

"Already did," it was apparently she was slipping into a half-conscious state of shock.

"River, no!"

"Broke her," he felt a hot tear hit his shoulder. "Thought she was fixed, but more is wrong. Under layers. Layers and layers are all broken. I'm so sorry," she caught a sob in his neck.

"What's going on?" Simon had caught word of the set-back and was all but clawing his skin off to get a sedative in her.

"You let me handle this. You all go about your business," Jayne demanded and, despite his lack of readily available weaponry, received minimal argument.

He carried his princess up the stairs and then down the ladder to his… to _their_ bunk. He placed her on the bed, bringing a soft pillow under her head and grazing a soft kiss across her lips. Nothing brought a reaction from her. He was losing her. The River was changing courses.

"River," his voice was gentle and loving, but held an authority in a way only a Cobb could muster, "what's my name River."

"Doesn't matter."

"It's _all _that matters. What's my name, River?" he grabbed her forcefully by the jaw and forced her face toward him.

"Nothing matters."

"_This_ matters," he kissed her again, "_we_ matter. What's my name, River?"

"You're Jayne. Man with girl's name."

"I'm Jayne. Good. Who am I?"

"Born December 18th, 2477 to Radiant Cobb and Earl Tester, who paid exactly 320 credits for your mom. That 320 credits went to a doctor nine months later. Three brothers, two sisters still living, one stillbo…"

"Knock it off," two large hands slammed the bed next to her head. This still didn't elicit even the slightest reaction.

"How much more is buried?" she cracked and let a sliver of her soul bare itself.

"Probably enough that I could dig a long time and still find stuff messed up in the moony little brain of yours. Who am I?"

"We haven't set parameters or a title. Your question, in regards to me, is unanswerable."

"Gorram it, girl, I'm your ruttin' boyfriend."

"You shouldn't be a boyfriend to someone so damaged."

"You're not damaged. You remembering Level 3 a little? I heard what they did. You know that will never be an issue as long as you're dating _me_, right? I won't ever leave without you being satisfied."

"It's humiliating," she admitted without him asking.

"It's not your fault."

"Doesn't matter," she whispered and closed her eyes against the saline tears that threatened to flood.

"River," he urged, "I don't need you to trust any other person right now, but do you still trust me?"

She rolled her eyes open to stare a new hole through Jayne. The look screamed at him that she didn't know _who _to trust right now. She couldn't even trust herself. How could she have forgotten something like Level 3? She'd just erased it from her memory completely. How much more had she erased?

"I won't ever leave you … unfulfilled. You know that, right?"

"I don't ever want to be touched again," the corners of her mouth trembled with a suffocated sob and she turned her face from him.

"Yes you do," he growled against her ear. "You're going to tell me that you don't like this?" he kissed the trembling corners of her mouth. "Or this?" he slid his hand over the rise of her breasts, down her stomach, and around her hips until he had prized flesh in his palms. He pulled her hips up against him so she would feel how aroused he was, "I'm in the same boat. All hot 'n' bothered with nothing to do about it. You gonna trust me to make this better for _both_ of us?"

The fear in her eyes warned him to be careful, but it didn't say 'stop.' He had to admit he'd been feelin' kind of immoral of late for all his trim, tricks, and hookers – but right now he appreciated all the 'practice' he'd had with women. He leaned back and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Oh god," she screamed and tried curling in a fetal position.

"What in the hell?" he pinned her with his legs. He realized he'd pulled away from her, just like he said he _wouldn't_ do. "No, no, River. I'm not leaving. Stop," he forced her back to facing him. He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. He kissed her wrist, forearm, ran a soft trail of his lips over the inside of her elbow and kissed up to her shoulder. His body was, once again, covering most of hers. He placed his hand at the top of her blouse above the top button and pinched his eyebrows in a beseeching plea to have faith in him.

"Keep going," pain lanced her words. Pain of fear, fear of the unknown. Would he break her distrust, or would he break her?

ment here...


	16. Chapter 16

**NOT MINE. THEY BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON. **

****This is one of _those_ chapters. Fair amount of smut - - promise the story line will pick back up in ch. 17.** Typos are mine. I have no BETA. :(**

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Drenched in sweat he couldn't believe it but he actually hoped she was getting tired. Instead she wrapped her legs around him and pushed him back until she now straddled his lap. He'd seen a Senator's concubine like this before – back in the days when he took high-paying security jobs to pay for his high-charging, prime pieces of trim. The concubine had all but taken the Senator in the elevator on their way back to their penthouse suite. She panted and moaned, then moaned and panted. Jayne was no stranger to a woman's wiles. He knew they could seduce a man right off of his own planet, but the concubine wasn't using any ploys or faking a single move. She'd been wanton and heated since they'd left the Opera House they'd been attending. Jayne found the Senator's stash of dromiphen, a fairly untraceable aphrodisiac that was as potent as it was expensive and illegal.

It wasn't likely that River had been drugged though. Unless that_ pi gu _Nathaniel had gotten his hands on some…

"Not drugged," her fingers laced into the hair at the back of his head, "just…" she pulled herself up and buried her face into his shoulder as the waves of her pleasure rose and drowned her again. She was rushed out to sea by the tide. It ripped her from herself. Each invasion by the man she had grown to love was another wave crashing into her and stealing her pain. Each sigh from him and every gasp he tore from her peeled away another layer of wrongs.

His hips hit hers with such assertion she knew he had finished as well, he gently thrust into her a couple more times to gift her with every shudder her orgasm would allow. Her glow seemed to lift the whole mood of his tiny bunk. It had been a dungeon where he had been given the task of forcing something out of her, and even though it was her pain and humiliation – it was still a part of her. He wondered if she would still be his Queen when all was said and done. Every time she'd cried and begged for more she looked into his eyes less and less and he knew he was losing her. Her eyes weren't half-lidded by lust, they were squeezed tightly shut in frustration. Now, though, she was glowing. It wasn't just a glow of a woman who'd had marathon sex for – were they really going on 6 hours? It was a glow that came from even deeper within. Jayne could only imagine it was the glow of a woman who'd just shed a few years of pain from her soul.

"Hey," he kissed her, lingering slightly to let her know she was really still in control, "I have an idea." She followed, more than willingly, as he led her to his cabin shower. It was going to take a lot of soap and a miracle to wash the sex from them, but this was a clean-up duty he didn't mind. It was his chance to solidify River as his.

"I'm always yours," she whispered while he tested the water temperature. "Why do you doubt that so much?"

The words were out before he could stop them, "Because good things like you don't happen to bad men like me."

"Bad men like you? Like the man who was just gentle enough with me for _hours_ to save me from my past? Like the man who risked his own life to save mine on more than one occasion? That man?"

"No, the one who struck you to the floor, who tried selling you, who tried selling you _again_. The man who pushed my partner out of a ship, who was going to sell Mal out, who was going to leave his Captain to die…"

"Stop," she pushed him into the shower, "we both have a past that is exactly where it belongs. In the past. Kneel."

Her demand wasn't one that she was going to accept a 'no' to. He dropped to his knees and rested his head against her stomach. Guns had been his therapy. Trim had come in a close second, followed closely by more guns and more trim. _This, _however, was the moment his life had been waiting for. The warm water beat his worries out of him while his lover's hands raked through his hair absolving him of his prior transgressions. It was the moment all those gorram poets he had to read in Primary School said they would like to keep in a glass. Frozen forever. Her fingers grabbed some hair and tilted his head back so she could steal his bottom lips between hers.

"Stand up," she was full of commands. Yep, River was back.

He stood to his full height and started to brush her hair behind her ear. His hand was left mid-air, though, when she dropped to her knees in front of him. She kept her eyes down and her hands in her lap. She looked more like a petulant child rather than the one being in the universe that could kill almost anything she set her mind to.

"You have to forgive me now."

"Oh hell, Riv. What for?"

When she didn't answer he bent to her. "I forgive you," he finally got to push her hair behind her ear, "for wanting to go to the best school. I forgive you for letting stupid, awful men hurt you. I forgive you for coming into my life and changing me completely. Do you know _why _I forgive you?"

The hurt look in her eyes killed him. He'd _really_ just blamed everything on her. Her glow faltered a little.

"Because without any of that I wouldn't have you here right now. You wouldn't be you and I would still be lost. I forgive you for being the best and damn shiniest woman in the 'Verse."

Her smile was coy as she instructed him to stand up and lean against the wall. He understood her instruction when she drew him into her mouth. He'd grown soft, but she fixed that in a matter of seconds. _This_ was the moment he would save in a glass. She was an oasis in a desert. So inviting with the innocent, big eyes looking up at him now as she devoured his entire length, submitting to him with every inch of her obedient pose. She could kill him without even breaking a nail, but here she was instead, _definitely_ pleasuring him. Her tongue flattened against his shaft and drew back to flick over the tip and then she swallowed him just to do it all over again. He wondered what Simon would think if he knew his baby sister was such a pro at this. Her big innocent eyes squinted into glares even as she kept her dutiful mouth on task. _Fair enough_, he thought. If he knew someone was thinking about _his_ brothers or sisters while he was … well… he'd just focus on other things. She withdrew his length and lifted it as she licked down the length of the shaft to draw his balls into her mouth. He leaned his head back against the shower and relished her velvet tongue. Yep, he wouldn't be able to look Simon in the face for a few days.

She kept stroking him until she took him between her lips again. "I'm close," it came out as more of a grunt than a warning. She placed him at the back of her throat and hummed and swallowed until she felt him spasm against her lips. She drew back, still squeezing and stroking him until she felt him release his reward against her tongue. He steadied himself with a hand on her head as she milked him and took all she could from him.

He dropped to his knees beside her, then resorted to just sitting on the shower floor. You can't _pay_ for what she just did for him. She didn't allow recovery time. She handed him a wash cloth, "Wash me," she demanded and hiked a leg against the wall.

Thick, viscous sex still clung to her thighs and his seed still dripped from inside her. He wanted to keep her like this forever. He wanted to be able to look at her like this whenever he wanted.

"Wash me," she demanded more forcefully. He held the washcloth under the water and then ran it along her lips, removing all trace of him. She bent and without an ounce of humility dug her finger inside of her and scooped out more of his cum. She leaned back toward him. "My turn," she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

He leered up at her and without taking his eyes off of her pulled her hips to his face. His eyes closed, however, when he tasted her. The flesh was tender from their 6 hour marathon and he easily coaxed her clit into his mouth. She immediately released a flood into his beard and down his neck. His tongue flew over her as it was possessed by an angel with wings bent only on her pleasure. He teased her clit, bit her engorged lips, circled his tongue around before driving it as deep into her as he could. The strong wiggling inside of her flooded more of her, this time into his mouth.

"Swallow it," she grinded her hips on his face. He obliged, but she was going to pay for being so bossy. He pulled his tongue back and shoved it into her again. He repeated this over and over until he felt her knees growing weak. He used his nose to graze over her clit and kept at this until he felt her swell around his tongue. He picked up his pace until she shuddered and her orgasm splashed over his face. She wasn't getting off the hook that easy. He pinned her hips to him and continued his assaults until she reached an orgasm again. She weakened and leaned against the shower wall, but he kept her pinned as he focused just on her clit and she shuddered again. Her clit was swollen, every flick of his tongue made her buck and shiver. Her breathing shallowed and he wouldn't relent. "Jayne!" she cried. He lightened up so his tongue was just a tickle over her, she gushed in orgasm again and twitched with each touch after. He laid her down on the shower floor and buried himself deep in her. Her pitiful pleading and unbridled desire had stirred him. His thrusts were deep and needy. Every push he delivered was another orgasm for her and every retreat was a promise unfilled. He finally released himself inside of her and shut off the water. He carried her to the bed and laid her down, legs spread so he bask in his seed just barely peeking out between her lips.

She smiled at him. "You're so easy to play."

"What do you mean?"

"I demand something of you and you 'teach me a lesson.' _Great_ lesson."

The ruttin' loony girl knew exactly what he was doing. Figures. She _had_ seemed to enjoy herself. He was pretty sure the rest of the crew was miserable hearing her moans and pleas. Definitely going to be a while before he went lookin' for the Doc. How had she known that _nobody_ orders Jayne Cobb to do something?

"I'm a mind reader, dummy," she smiled, "Plus I think everyone in the 'Verse knows that you don't order Jayne Cobb around. I'm the only one that's ever been rewarded for it though."

Her smile was a shot of whiskey warming him and intoxicating him. "You feeling better?"

"Better than better," she smiled. "I feel human."

_X_

"Real nice of you to send a shuttle for me," the regal woman entered the cargo bay.

"I'm sure Inara found it to be no problem," Mal shook Regan Tam's hand.

"And to provide me transport to that moon. Thank you very much."

"Not a problem. There _is_ a problem on board, though. Your daughter has had a bit of a relapse. We're working on that right now," Mal had no plans of letting Mother Tam out of the cargo bay. With River carryin' on – that's something a mother never needed to hear. It had been quiet for a couple hours, but you never knew with those two. "And your son doesn't know I agreed for you to come on board. That's a conversation for you two."

"Mal," Sergeant Houghton came up, "we can't stay on land much longer."

"How's the progress of the patients?"

"The _students_ are improving. Mal, we have to go."

"The go we shall," Mal smiled until a scream came from Jayne's bunk. With as terrified as that scream was, Mal hoped Jayne wasn't the cause. He'd hate to have to kill one of his best gunhands.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I still own none of this. Still love all of it. And I am SO sorry it took so long for me to post! I live IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, but we've found a reliable internet provider and this story should GET FINISHED! :)**

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"What in the good gorram is _she_ doing on this ship?"

"I invited her."

"Well uninvite her."

"Can't do that, Riv. She's got some things to get off her chest. It'll be a good chance for you to get some things off of your chest too."

River and Mal stood toe to toe. Fury rippled beneath her skin and her whole body seared with the electricity of anger. How dare they let _that woman_ on this ship?

"River," Regan Tam let barely a whisper escape her lips, "I'm so sorry, honey."

"Is she talking to me?" River's gaze snapped to the assembling crew but refused to grace her mother with acknowledgement. "Is _she_ really talking to _me_?"

"What's going on? I thought I heard River scream and I was really trying to ign…" Simon halted his saunter down the stairs as soon as his assessment of the situation revealed an extra crew member that looked all too familiar. "Hello, Mother."

Simon's inquisitive furrow of the brows turned to brow raising concern when he realized the combatant stance his sister had claimed. He wanted to comfort her, to smooth things over; but Jayne was already there rubbing her shoulder with a big, meaty paw. Simon shook a thousand intruding horrors that were entering his mind of the 'those hands have been all over your mei mei' variety. He finished descending the stairs and positioned himself between his nearly homicidal sister and his very unexpected mother.

"Simon," River's voice pleaded.

"I know," he turned and whispered to her. "I don't think we can just get rid of her. Let's say everything we've been wanting to say – then hear her… apology or whatever she's here for."

"Ok," Mal clapped his hands, "we are going to give this family reunion a little privacy." _For their sake and ours._

"River," Jayne's voice rumbled against her ear, "maybe you _should_ bring a wall down and try to _read_ her."

She cocked her head, contemplating the uncharacteristically good idea that had just sprouted from Jayne. River closed her eyes and shut out the rest of the world. To take a wall down so carefully that she could regain control of it if needed required a concentration she was still mastering. She began to turn off her senses one by one. She wouldn't even attempt this if not in the direct vicinity of either Jayne or Mal. As much as she trusted Simon, he was a complete wuss if danger were to come along. At least Jayne or Mal would be able to protect her vulnerable state until she could put the walls back up.

Her eyesight was the first thing she robbed from herself, she closed her eyes until even the remnants of light faded to black against her eyelids. Her taste and smell went next. It erased the scent of her sweat and the mild residue of sex that lingered on the air. She no longer tasted her need to brush her teeth. She let her hearing fade out next. The quite hum of _Serenity's_ most basic operations faded and melded into the quite grinding of Jayne's teeth, a nasty habit she would have to bring to his attention later. Even the incessant knuckle cracking of a nervous Regan Tam faded into a void as River brought her hearing offline finally. Then, slowly, the calluses on Jayne's hand softened against hers and disappeared; her feet pooled into the floor of the cargo bay until River Tam didn't individually exist any longer – only her brain did.

Her brain reached for frequencies most humans couldn't even dream about. She ran into the waves coming from Jayne first. His waves weren't soft, they were so fractured she could have spent hours studying them. A white shield threw itself from him to her, and closer still red ribbons of lingering passion clung like a spider web between them. Lastly an inky, black stain surrounded him – a clear sign he had something dark clinging to his soul. She would help him with it, not now, but soon. She reached further for her brother. Of course he would exude an amber brilliance about him. He was her white knight, her saving grace. Basked in a heavenly gold is all that would suit her brother – her savior. Navy spikes of loyalty accented the gold and his devotion was regal to her. She felt safely cradled in the basket of these two men to reach out and feel for Regan Tam.

She expected spiky, black, painful protrusions to impale her as she sought the treacherous, deceitful woman – but in fact, she could barely pinpoint Regan at all. Maybe she had moved. The waves _did_ come from the physical body. She searched in a sweeping pattern to find her giver of life and noticed nothing except Simon's wave get stronger as she searched. Normally this would have been enough of a red flag to pull River from her searching, but Jayne was holding steady and true. Nothing was distressing Jayne, of course Simon _did_ know her a little better. She debated breaking her reading when Simon's waves split from each other and red pulses of fear splattered the edges of his waves that were pulling apart. _This_ was enough of a warning for her. She reached and steadily increased her hearing and opened her eyes so sight was no longer robbed from her.

Regan Tam wasn't wielding a machete, she wasn't reaching for a blow torch, or pulling out a comm to alert the Alliance as to their presence, she was just steadily retreating from Simon. The older woman's eyes were startled and unsure. The red blotches of fear had been _her._

_Good, the witch needs to be scared of me._

River's hand tightened around Jayne's as small seeds of realization settled in. Simon's waves hadn't grown stronger – Regan was putting off the same waves and had moved closer to him. She had the same amber glow of contented person, just as Simon had. Her navy plumes had been almost identical to his. River was confused. Was her mother actually feeling familial and maternal sentiments? Or was her brother the ultimate betrayer and she was confusing the gold and navy to be comforting when they really should be warning signs. River backed up until she was pressed against Jayne's chest and his arm rested on her hip. Naturally. A residual wave of green cast from Simon circled her. He was always so possessive of his _mei mei._ She shot him a look that mocked and relieved him all at the same time.

"Mother," River erased _most_ of the disdain from her voice, "you have a little explaining to do."

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"And that's why we thought you were fine," Regan finally finished regaling them all of how they'd called the Academy several times asking to speak with River. They'd had an excuse every time for why River couldn't come to the phone. 'She's in the Chemistry lab." "She's taking a psychology exam." "Today is the day for our standardized testing, we can't disrupt any student. Not even for emergencies. Call back tomorrow." When she'd called back they told her River was gone on a field trip to an art museum on Ariel.

"Oh I went to Ariel," River plopped a grape in her mouth, "only I went to a special clinic on Madison where they could sonically alter my brain patterns and study them."

Jayne gawked at how casual she was being.

"What?" she plopped another grape in her mouth. "I heard the art sucks anyway."

Regan laughed a sob. A silvery blue ribbon of relief pierced the air. River didn't need to be in a trance to see the sudden change in emotion coming from her mother. "I thought I'd lost you forever. You're still even the same ol' River."

"Not quite," River's eyebrows met.

"Um… Mom," Simon said he'd chose the wrong word, "she's been through, quite literally, hell and back. There are some things about her that…"

"My kill count to date is 67 normal humans, 28 reavers."

That statistic was enough to make the entire crew, who'd gathered but remained silent, fidget in their seats. Mal, Zoe, and Jayne had killed more that that, sure enough. But none of them had held those numbers at eighteen. Not even Jayne.

"I assume by kill you mean…?" Regan covered her trembling lips with a shaky hand.

"Mostly blunt trauma to the head or bullet wounds. By kill I mean fatally damaged. Do you require further clarification?"

Regan emphatically shook her head back and forth. "It seems like just yesterday you were asking me to braid your hair and tell you fables."

"I'm not a bad person," River lowered her voice and reached for her mother's hand. "They created a weapon. Now that I can control it, think of me as not only your little girl – but the best security guard you can find." River gifted her a big smile. The remorse her matriarch felt was palpable. As long as repentance was on the air River could muster some forgiveness.

"Well, you certainly know how to put a price on your head," Regan drew a deep breath and composed herself. "I think I have a solution."

"Yeah?" Simon chuckled. "What on Earth-That-Was would that be?"

"Your father."

"Our father is a _tian de…_"

"Not Gabriel." Regan waved at the air. "Your _real _father."


End file.
